Kate'sVoice

My intention in offering a few free voice training sessions is to help spread the love (L.O.V.E.) this week.  As Anne Karpf says, “The sound of the human voice has an unrivaled capacity to flood the listener psychologically.”  This is from The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are (My second favorite book on vocal image…mine being the first, of course Can You Hear Me Now?)  However, I have observed that many people do not know exactly what they are flooding their listeners with, and that can be especially sticky when you are dealing with a lover or spouse.  Therefore, I am offering a free 30-minute session for the first 8 people who contact me this week.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A 30-minute session on the phone with me.  I will listen to your voice, and evaluate how you use it, based on vocal image, vocal health, and considering any specific vocal issues you may be experiencing.  I’ll also make recommendations for ways to improve or expand your voice.  This is a $100 value.

Although I’m offering this as a Valentine special, the offer is also open to those who  want help with their voices for public speaking, teaching, training, work or singing, or if you just want to create a better voice.  So if you have been looking to get some voice help and haven’t known where to start or if you have been thinking about contacting me, this is your chance.

Here’s what you need to do to take advantage of this offer.  Fill out the contact form here, or call me at 714-777-9231.  I will  set up sessions with the first 8 people who respond to this post.  Please do not leave a comment here (I can’t believe I’m saying that!!!!) unless you have difficulty reaching me the other two ways.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together!  Everyone deserves to create the voice they want, and it will be a lot of fun to see what we can do with this!

The other day, I was speaking with  a woman who has chronic laryngitis.  Her voice is very low and husky, and she gets lots of comments on “that sexy voice.”  To me, it sounds tired and unhealthy, but I know people who want that sound because they DO think it’s sexy.  So the questions I want to answer today are

• What is a sexy voice, and
• How do you create it? (and is there time before Valentine’s Day???)

What makes a voice sound sexy?

A now-famous study by Gordon Gallup and others at the University of Albany showed that both men and women with attractive voices also had more attractive bodies, and a larger sex life.  The researchers were able to show that women felt that low voices were more attractive in men, but they were unable to conclude what makes a woman’s voice sound more attractive to men.  In a later study, however, Dr. Gallup found that women’s voices are most attractive to both men and other women when they are at the peak of fertility, which in fact, causes their pitch to rise rather than drop. This is caused by the presence of more estrogen, just as a lower voice in men is associated with a higher level of testosterone.  This makes sense.  First and foremost, even in this modern world, we are attracted to people for procreation, and the voice seems to be an indicator of the right chemistry!

Perhaps the reason we think a low voice sounds sexy is because we are intuitively aware that a low voice means power.  This is true in the most primal way, of course, but again, we cannot deny our primal roots!  As women have sought to compete more and more with men in the workplace, they have lowered their voices.  Anne Karpf discusses this trend in her book, The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are.   It seems that the average pitch of women’s voices is no longer an octave higher than a man’s, but just 2/3 of an octave.  The problem with this trend is that it is hazardous to the voice.  Speaking too low can cause nodules, or calluses on the vocal folds, chronic laryngitis, and reduce the flexibility of the vocal mechanism.

So, I want to stop all this nonsense about a low voice being sexy and about power being demonstrated by a low voice and get to the heart of it.  A sexy voice is grounded, just like a sexy person is confident.  A sexy voice has vibrant resonance, just as a sexy person is vibrant.  And a sexy voice is flexible, reflecting a sensitive, emotional person.  If you have those three things, your sexy voice will be healthy and it will reflect your emotions and desires.

How to create a sexy voice

1. Make your breathing low and expansive.  Just like good sex, good breathing is low and deep (now you will never forget that about proper breathing!)
2. Create a resonance that is powerful by using mask resonance.  To do this, humming is a great tool, and music is the food of love, of course.  (Research shows that music stimulates the brain in the same place as food and sex, by the way, so you know why I always recommend humming!!)
3. Create variety in your sound by letting your voice show your emotions.  An emotional connection with your voice allows others to feel closer to you too…hint, hint

You are just about to make your point, bringing your dynamic and well-prepared speech to its exciting climax, when you open your mouth to speak and hear a horrible croak instead of your usual voice.  Frustrated, you clear your throat, and try again, but you sound like you are speaking underwater this time!  Again you clear your throat, loudly and aggressively.  Now, your voice is more clear, but you can still feel the crud rolling around in there, and sure enough, a few words later, there it is again.  Croak!  Someone from the audience rushes up with a glass of water. You guzzle it down in relief,  but you know the moment has passed.  The audience is now feeling a bit sorry for you…not what you had intended at all!

Well, it happens.  In other articles, we have talked about how to keep your voice healthy, how to deal with laryngitis and acid reflux, but there are minor issues that come up that cause problems that are NOT long-lasting.  Here are 3 things you can do , on the spot, to get rid of a frog in the throat, and also to deal with a couple of other vocal horrors: the “tickle,” and “the tremor.”

1. If your voice croaks like a frog:  Immediately, stop, lift up your hand to tell your audience “just a minute”, turn away from the mic, and create a little compression in your throat (like the beginning of clearing your throat, but without all the noise.) It’s a little graveley sound you want to create, and you can do this very quietly two or three times.  If it doesn’t clear up, stop, let the audience know you need a minute, and drink several large sips of water.  Wait another few seconds, use that little compression sound to clear your cords, and speak.  If you still get some croaking, drink some more water.  In fact, over the next few minutes drink the entire glass by sipping between ideas. Water thins out the mucous and creates a nice lubrication usually eliminating the globs that are causing the problem.
2. If your voice shakes : Sometimes your voice is unsteady because of nerves.  If you suspect this is the case for you, stop,  and take a breath.  Calm yourself down with low, expansive breathing.  Then speak again.  For some, starting each talk with a resounding, confident “Hello!” may be the cure for a shaky voice.  It gets the air moving, which is what you really need.  For more tips on handling nervousness, please read this post by Sandra Zimmer on Six Minutes.
3. If you get a tickle: Your first  response is probably to take a sip of water, which may work just fine.  But the tickle is in the larynx, usually, not the esophagus, so if the tickle doesn’t go away, a slight cough can help to clear the larynx of phlegm.  A tickle may also be caused by dry air on the vocal folds.  In this case, breathing in through the nose will help warm and moisten the air; take a low breath, letting the abdominal muscles expand and your throat relax.  Then be sure to actively use the air in the sound when you speak.

While there are potentially many aspects of a presentation that can take away from your presentation if not addressed (please read Joan Curtis’ Blog post on Communication Culprits), there is no doubt that a voice malfunction can make you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.  Don’t let it.  Learn these tricks for dealing with it physically because sooner or later, you will need this information.  But when it happens,  know that it’s just part of the deal.  Your voice is your greatest asset as a speaker or singer, but it is part of your body and it has its good days and its bad days, just like your hair.

What other vocal issues come up for you as a speaker? Write a comment about it and let’s see what we can do to solve it or give you a quick remedy.  And if you stump me, I’ll do the research and get back to you.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Update:  Great recent post on another problem for speakers: stuttering.  Please read  Eloquent Woman

Investing in Your Vocal Image: A Tale of Two Strategies

Recently, a female executive, we’ll call her Joann, came to me, complaining that too often at the end of a long day she left the office with a hoarse voice and a feeling of utter exhaustion. All she wanted to do was to go home, curl up with a good book and tune everyone nearby out.

Joann admitted that things at work were more stressful than usual. While she was intensely focused on trying to secure additional funding for her growing company, her voice giving out at the end of the day was a new and troublesome problem.

Strategy 1: Getting back in shape

We spent some time getting her voice back in shape by raising her pitch to a more natural level and developing some resonance so that she didn’t need to work so hard at being heard. She was surprised at how easy it was to lift the strain from her voice, even though it took a bit of time to become comfortable speaking in this new way, especially on the phone.

Now, let me say Joann is gregarious by nature. She loves to spin a good story and she always has plenty of color and detail to make any subject she talks about come to life. She is also clear, compelling and strong. She uses humor well and can really draw people into a conversation: All ingredients of a great public speaker. (For more information on presentations skills for executives , please read this recent post from Kathy Reiffenstein on  Professionally Speaking.) I suspected, however, that her vocal choices might be getting in the way of her efforts to raise money for her company.

Strategy 2:  Presenting a deal-maker voice

Taking a chance, I asked whether she was having success with her funding efforts, particularly with her presentations. Joann confessed that although she was not scaring potential investors off, she wasn’t closing any deals either. I asked her if she would make her presentation to me. Just as I presumed, her content was clear and compelling, but her vocal image, specifically the cadence of her voice, was not aligned with her message or intent.

One of the things that makes Joanne sound so friendly is a habitual upward pitch, or open cadence, at the end of her sentences that invites people into the conversation. The problem is she uses this cadence even when she is making a declaration. The upward cadence causes her to seem indecisive and, even worse, wishy-washy. Not exactly the impression you want to give a potential investor. *

She was game to try a different approach since she was determined to get support for her company.  We worked on her cadence and other aspects of her vocal image. Within a short time she began to see a difference. She landed the investments she needed, and she started to go home feeling fulfilled rather than exhausted.

Summary

Today, people see Joanne as both authoritative and open. She makes conscious vocal choices to close a deal or make a friend—two situations which require two different vocal strategies.

P.S. I feel great to have been able to help Joanne learn to manage her vocal image in support of her social life as well as her work. I love my job!

*The Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation posts a daily blog that will be of  great interest to executives, and includes information on communication styles and gender differences in the workplace and as individuals,  as well as conflict resolution.  Its authors are some of the foremost authorities on negotiating today.

Just as your physical appearance, your voice can represent you either effectively or ineffectively. The question is, how do you make the switch from creating your voice through reaction and imitation to creating your voice through thoughtful application of knowledge? The answer is: you start by listening objectively. Here are 10 ways to become more aware of what you have created so you can start to make changes:

1. Sing often, even if you don’t feel that you have a good voice. The act of singing will strengthen your vocal muscles.
2. Give talks. Join a public speaking class or club.  Toastmasters is such a place, of course.  Volunteer to be an advocate for your business or church.
3. Respond to what you hear. Express your thoughts when there is an opportunity. Jump in when you have a chance to share your perspective.
4. Practice saying hello to people in different ways. Try “Good morning,” “Hi, there,” “Hello. How are you today?” Pay attention to the different responses you get from others.
5. Practice a talk you are preparing using many different inflections and pitch variations in your delivery. Listen to yourself as you do this and then try something else.
6. Listen to yourself as you speak and analyze what you are doing. Record yourself talking to someone else or while speaking extemporaneously on a topic. Then listen to the recording and analyze how it sounds and what impression the delivery gives you.
7. Listen to the voices of others to compare your voice with theirs. Do you speak higher or lower? What expressions do others use that you don’t?
8. Work with a voice professional. If you want to improve or heal your voice, it’s always helpful to work with a vocal professional. Be sure that you feel comfortable with them and that they have solid credentials as a technician. Degrees in speech therapy or applied voice are such credentials.
9. Imitate your favorite actor, singer, politician, teacher, etc. Try to determine if your voice feels different from your normal vocal delivery and if so how.
10. Keep a voice journal daily.  Of course, I love Moleskines for this.  But you can use any journal (or my book   Write down your observations on how you use your voice.  This will help develop awareness. Awareness, in turn, will help you make changes that can last a lifetime. Without awareness, you will probably continue to make the same choices that you do today.

I am proud to see my blog on 6-Minutes’ Definitive List of public speaking blogs, and I am also proud to be addressing the use and care of one of the most important assets to a speaker (or anyone, for that matter!), the human voice.  So, I’m starting the New Year off with a bit of a rant about the importance of training your voice.

Many CEO’s, public statesmen, and great conversationalists have learned the value of training their voices.  When it comes to public speaking, having the latest technology is not a good substitute for a poor voice.  I know many people will tell you that, but here is my take on it: People are always more interesting to other people than  slides.  Along these lines, I love the post by Olivia Mitchell that tells you how to use the beam of your projector like a spotlight…well that’s not exactly what she said, but as an actor, I’ve always believed that was a much over-looked opportunity! Anyway, Mitchell is someone who gives great advice on the appropriate use of technology in your talks, while also talking about finding your strengths as a speaker with human skills such as eye contact and gesturing.

Yet even with all the human elements of eye contact and gestures,  there really is a direct correlation between “voice” and being a speaker.   Since people come to “hear” you, they expect to hear something they want to listen to. I know that I am a voice teacher, but  your voice is your most valuable asset and the way it sounds may be much more important than you think. In fact,  the remarkable Julian Treasure affirms this when he says, “The human voice is the most powerful sound on the planet.”   To find out why, I encourage you to visit his website, Sound Business.

How studying voice will improve your impact as a speaker

The truth is that you are already making an impact on others with your voice, but the impact you are making with your voice may not be the one you want to make.  In order to create the sound you want, and make sure it is a healthy sound that will optimize your most valuable asset, you must

1. be aware of how you sound and what you like and don’t like about your voice
2. become aware of the sound you are creating and the effect it has on others
3. know how to make a sound that brings out the best in your voice, but also one that won’t hurt you

To accomplish this, you have to listen to yourself and others, but you really need someone else to listen to you and give you feedback, too, and preferably someone who knows what they are doing.

Aligning your voice with your intentions
One of my clients, who is a Fortune 100 CEO, was finding himself hoarse at the end of the day even on days when he was presenting at a conference.   He talked all day long and  found that when he got home, he had to stay quiet in order to save his voice for his work.  This then took a toll on his communication with his wife and kids.  In addition, he started to have difficulty being understood when he got up in front of people, and his publicist started complaining that his image wasn’t as strong as it used to be.  His voice problems were effecting his personal life as well as his business communicatiion by the time he started working with me.  We made some changes that helped tremendously, but the truth is that he could have avoided those issues altogether if he had had training earlier.

You can choose to have your voice more fully support your sense of who you are and what you want to do with your life, and you can have a healthy, vibrant sound. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune.  It doesn’t have to take years to accomplish.  But think of it this way.  Your voice is part of your body and it is the only one you get.  If you depend on it in your job, it’s a good idea to understand it and take care of it so that you don’t abuse it or even lose it.

It’s like having a great tool in your tool kit and the more you know about it the better you can utilize its strengths.  People who train their voices  have learn that aligning their sound and vocal image with their sense of purpose and intention often results in impact beyond their expectations.

According to the Daily World Buzz, the top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are listed below.  I am not sure where they get their list, but I can’t argue that these things are probably on many lists, and if you Google  New Year’s Resolutions, most of these come up year after year!

The Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are:

Get into shape, Save money, Lose weight, Give up smoking, Assess work/life balance,  Learn a new skill, Be kinder to myself, Give up/ cut alcohol intake, Give up / eat less chocolate,  and Clean out closets.

All of these resolutions are about making changes for the better.  Now, wouldn’t it be great if you could make just one commitment, make one change, or take on one new activity in the new year that would satisfy of all of them?  Well, I humbly submit that you can.  Studying voice will do all this and more.  How?  Let’s take a look at the resolutions and see how.

1 Get into shape. Singing is a very physical activity.  Breathing for singing alone can be very demanding if done correctly.  Little known fact: It’s quite possible to get a “six-pack” from practicing proper breathing!  (My partner will validate mine   Plus, most teachers will require that you stand in front of a mirror during lessons or to practice, and there is nothing quite like mirror-time to convince you to get in shape!!

2 Save money. Well, I can’t help you here because you usually have to pay for lessons.  But I suppose your desire to improve yourself may be motivation to sock away the dollars needed for the lessons, and if you can save for one desire, perhaps you can save money for other things too.

3 Lose weight. The increased activity from learning to stand and breath properly will help you drop pounds and inches, especially if you also eat less (not most singer’s strong suit, but….), and since you have to fit lessons into your life, you will probably have less time to eat than you did before.  And then of course, you will have to stand up in front of your fans to show them your progress, so you will need to look good in your rock star outfit!

4 Give up smoking. Smoking makes your vocal folds dry and irritated, and compromises the process of singing or even speaking well.  Progress is very slow and can be frustrating.  You will probably have to quit smoking in order to study voice  or it may be a waste of your time and money.  Besides, no voice teacher worth her salt will work with someone who is a smoker.  It just doesn’t make sense.

5 Assess work/life balance. Although studying voice may add another activity to your already-busy life, the thought of taking it on can force you to assess your work/life balance.  And humming at work is a great way to keep things in perspective.

5 Learn a new skill. If you have never studied voice before, you will obviously be learning a new skill.  But if you  already sing or are a public speaker, you will still learn new skills.  In fact, when it comes to voices, even professionals need trained ears to hear them from time to time and advise them on their technique and improve their skill. In addition, learning to use your voice more effectively will help all of your communication.

7 Be kinder to myself. Singing is very enjoyable.  Often, when I tell people what I do, they tell me that they have always wanted to be able to sing.  Certainly, doing something that is fun and that you have always wanted to do is being kind to yourself, even if you think your singing in public is not kind to anyone else!  So what?!  Take the lessons for yourself.  By the way, less than 1% of the population is actually tone deaf.  Everyone else can sing to one degree or another.

8 Give up/ cut alcohol intake. With all of your practicing and lesson time, you will have less time to drink.  In fact you may want to drink less because you will be happier.  Research by Dr. Alfred Tomatis tells us that singing massages the brain and calms us down.  Very cool!  This being the case, there is much less need to drink if you already feel good.

9 Give up / eat less chocolate. OK.  This is one resolution to which I take exception.  Since we all know chocolate is good for you, let’s not be stupid!  In fact, I think you should take a piece of dark chocolate with you to each lesson and share it with your voice coach!

10 Clean out closets. The motivation to do this last one can easily be derived from learning to sing.  First of all, you need to have a place to practice where no one else will interfere.  Closets are good for that, so you will need to clean out your closet in order to find that space.  Secondly, because creative activity makes you feel more energized, you will find that after a lesson you are pumped up and it will be easy to take on your closet.

In short,  New Year’s resolutions require goal setting, dedication, and patience to see through.  If you wish to make changes and are looking for a way to make them stick, there is nothing like a new discipline to help you.  Studying voice requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to do things differently; in other words, it’s  just the kind of activity that can change your life for the better.

Last Christmas, we hired a pianist to come to our home to accompany our family and friends as we sang our favorite holiday carols.  We got out the caroling books ( I used to force my kids and students to go caroling with me, so I do have a stack of caroling books!!), grabbed glasses of wine or soda, or hot chocolate for those traditionalists among us, and gathered around the piano to sing.   We had a good time, but in retrospect there are some recommendations I can make if you want to try the same thing yourself.

1.  We had music books, but not everyone read music, and not everyone could see the small print in the caroling books, so we got rather quiet by the third verse of most songs.  My suggestion:  Choose 12-15 carols that you think everyone will want to sing and find the lyrics here, at Santas.net.  Download them and make the print large enough for everyone to read, and then print out copies.

2. It’s not always easy to find a key that everyone can sing.  Therefore, either make sure the pianist can transpose keys, or if you aren’t using a pianist, check the key before singing to make sure it feels good for all, OR simply pick some songs that are high, some low and some in the middle so everyone gets a shot at singing some songs, if not all.  By the way, a really interesting study was reported on today in Inside Science on how most holiday songs borrow sounds from everyday speech.

3.  Not everyone can sing, but everyone wants a solo!  My suggestion is that you give those who can’t carry a tune something else to do.   And I don’t’ mean that they should just pour the drinks, because music is for everyone!  However, you might provide rhythm instruments or bells, or even perhaps a beer bottle.  In fact, if you are short on singers, you might just scrap the singing and go for a beer bottle choir.  Check out this video from the Bowen Beer Bottle Band on YouTube.  I love it!     And have a wonderful, song-filled holiday!!

You can tell she is lying by the sound of her voice!!! lol

There it was.  A sound in his voice that indicated to the experts on Cal Lightman’s team that the suspect was lying.  It was a change in his sound at the end of the sentence.  Dr. Gillian Foster could tell easily that the man was smiling, even though she couldn’t see him.  She described his voice thinning out and getting a little higher.  In this case, this led her to conclude that the man was lying.

Now, let me ask you this.  Did YOU hear the change in his voice?  I did.  In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.  We can “hear” facial expressions and attitudes reflected in a person’s voice.  That’s because of physiological changes in the way we make sounds based on how we feel.

However, we can also “hear” a person’s intentions.  The voice is incredibly revealing.  This is why it’s so important to prepare for a speech or a presentation, to identify your intentions or purpose and keep them in mind.  Actors and performers are well aware of this.  Method acting was born of this phenomena.  But even dancers know about it.  In an article in Dance Magazine, I read this:

“I dance better when I have a reason to do the steps,” says Kimberly Cowen of Kansas City Ballet.

Good communication requires clarity;  clarity requires clear intention.  Too often we go into a presentation or a discussion without a clear intention for our communication.  We are then surprised that our message comes across confusing and ineffective.  A recent series on one person’s blog discusses the effect of intention and tone of voice in parenting.  In fact,  this topic is so important to Amblin that she is dedicated to discussing it through January of 2010!

Unclear intentions result in unclear communication. Conversely,  you don’t have to be a Cal Lightman to hear where a speaker is coming from.  It’s written all over their voice!

P.S. You can replay that episode of Lie to Me on the Fox website and check it out for yourself.  By the way, I think the web site is pretty cool.  Play the video that shows you tips and techniques for uncovering lies.  Not only is it fun, but I think it’s very helpful for speakers and performers.

I have been traveling a fair amount lately.  Today, I began working on this post and had to connect to the Internet.  As I browsed the Sheraton site, I noticed a link on the home page that encouraged you to share your story.  When you click on the link it takes you to “Good Stories,” a site with stories on Sheraton travel from around the world. Kind of cool!  It’s interactive and you get to explore the world through stories.

Storytelling is a form of communication that is common to everyone’s experience, and is becoming increasingly important as we face the large amounts of data and  information that are now available to us, such as where to stay and what to see when traveling.  Statistics on the recession are made more understandable when we hear stories of people losing their homes, or getting jobs in some innovative way.   And presentations are more interesting when the presenter is a storyteller.

In business,  creating a story out of raw information can help you see the problem better in order to understand the solution better. By collecting information to create stories, you can assure yourself that you can answer the key issues that need to be addressed to qualify your lead, to solicit a donation,  to make your point or to find the best solution.

My first introduction to the importance of storytelling in business was the book, The SpringBoard Story by Stephen Denning.  I love this book and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to be inspired about the importance of a great story.

And since reading that,  I have explored this with many people, and watched as storytelling has become more and more important.  Again, storytelling makes sense out of a complex world.  However, it’s not all that easy to create a great story, and many people call something a story when it is not a story.

To paraphrase the words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, stories are a conduit. They connect us to each other because your story reminds me of my own. In the simplest terms,

• A story has to have a beginning, a middle and an end.
• In addition, it needs to have emotional content, a feeling that we can relate to, even if it is a story about business.
• It needs to have an obstacle to be overcome.

If you want to learn more about storytelling, here are three places you might look.

• An article in Fast Company on a fabulous storytelling program to boost volunteerism in the schools.
• A blog about Applied Storytelling called “A Storied Career,” in this case a post about tweets on storytelling.
• And finally, a remarkable story to inspire us all: