Kate's Voice

Today I decided to study the skill of listening as it applies to good communication.  All listening is basically biased.  We bring our own story or history to whatever we do.  I remembered today that we often listen to others so that we can find a space to jump in with our comments, which is different from following the conversation and being fully aware of the path that it takes.  We often even forget what the other person is saying because we are so focused on our personal expression.  I was involved in a conversation today that was very passionate and where everyone had something to say.  We were all looking for that moment when there was a hole in the conversation so we could say what was on our minds, but everyone had so much to say that it took awhile to find that moment!  I found that in order to really participate in the discussion, I had to let go of my well-formed ideas and opinion and just stay in the moment, responding rather than rehearsing.  Funny.  At the end of the conversation, I didn’t feel less involved or under appreciated.  Instead, I felt more connected to everyone involved and I even learned some things that I don’t think I would otherwise have heard if I had just been holding onto my idea gems looking for a place to insert them

Have you found a voice buddy?  Perhaps tomorrow while you are becoming more aware of your “telephone voice,” you can find someone to call regularly as your voice buddy.  Your friend or business associate will agree to be supportive and helpful especially on days when you are less inspired to do the work of creating the voice you want.  You will call them daily to get encouragement to make the changes you want.  Your job is to bve open to their feedback…and to CALL THEM!

It sounds simple, and even unnecessary perhaps.  But it’s just like having a gym buddy.  It helps you keep your commitments. Be careful though that you don’t see your friend as a trainer unless they are a voice professional.  I havefound that mny people have opionions about how a voice should sound or what makes it work, but few really know how to create a sound that is both attractive or even just likeable and also healthy.