Kate's Voice

To be a good communicator, you need to be a good listener.  To be a good listener, you need to be objective and you need to want to hear what others have to say.  Listening is essential to all communication.  It supports the sharing of ideas and the expression of points of view.  Good conversation involves listening to others, and in personal expression, you need to listen to yourself.

For those of us interested in voice, there is even more reason to develop great listening skills:  You cannot produce a sound you cannot hear.  Therefore, here are some ways to apply listening skills to develop better personal expression, better interpersonal communication AND a better voice:
• Sing often, even if you don’t feel that you have a good voice. The act of singing will strengthen your vocal muscles.
• Give talks. Join a public speaking class or club. Volunteer to be an advocate for your business or church.
• Respond to what you hear. Express your thoughts when there is an opportunity. Jump in when you have the opportunity to share your perspective.
• Practice saying hello to people in different ways. Try “Good morning,” “Hi, there,” “Hello. How are you today?” Pay attention to the different responses you get from others.
• Practice a talk you are preparing using many different inflections and pitch variations in your delivery. Listen to yourself as you do this and then try something else.  And for the tone deaf, here are three ways to find vocal variety when you can’t find the pitch.
• Listen to yourself as you speak and analyze what you are doing. Record yourself talking to someone else or while speaking extemporaneously on a topic. Then listen to the recording and analyze how it sounds and what impression the delivery gives you.
• Listen to the voices of others to compare your voice with theirs. Do you speak higher or lower? What expressions do others use that you don’t?

Ear-voice coordination is as important to a speaker or singer as eye-hand coordination is to a tennis player. To learn more about the way the ear and voice work together, be sure to explore the fascinating work of the late Alfred Tomatis.

Related posts:

Fine Tune Your Vocal Image Through Ear Training

Lisa Braithwaite writes How are your observational skills?

Listening is of the Essence from Presentation Pointers

This post was excerpted from my book Can You Hear Me Now?

Clark Harris (aka @SilentClark ) was only speaking using social media for the month of May in an effort to raise awareness and money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in memory of his mother.  June 1, he decided to continue the campaign, having fallen short of his goal of raising $100,000, using only social media to speak.  He will finally end the silence on August 7.  He has written some wonderful reflections on voice in his blog. I interviewed him here because of his insights, and also so that you can be aware of this campaign, and help him out. Please read on, and visit his blog , or follow him on Twitter.

Why silence your voice instead of raise it?

@SilentClark: I felt that silence would have a larger impact because it is the opposite of what people expect of you when spreading to spread a message.

You remarked, “ I concluded that social media, with its globe-spanning reach, could not extend to the same few feet as the human voice.” What do you think it is about the human voice that creates so much impact?

@SilentClark: The voice is a completely pure form of communication. Words on paper can be a very personal form of communication, but to hear the voice of the writer adds a greater impact to them. The voice is more soothing as well when consoling another.

On your blog, you talk about daily “biggest ups, biggest downs and most entertaining experiences.” Was there a “biggest up” and/or “most entertaining” to listening to others’ voices?

@SilentClark: It is most entertaining to see the way friends who I have known for a long time, interact with me. At parties especially, they know it is difficult for me to respond, so they say more statements and less questions. This is an unnatural way of speaking, so it leads to interesting topics that they might not have shared before.

What was the “biggest down” to not being able to speak?

@SilentClark: Missing the opportunity to share my thoughts on a regular basis. The Delay Factor in social media  makes it impossible to keep in tune with the rhythm of a spoken conservation between several people. I just have to accept defeat and know those thoughts will go unheard.

Did your silence affect your listening, and if so, how?

@SilentClark: My silence has caused me to change roles with people such as my wife in our communication dynamics. Before I was the talker and she was the listener for the most part. Now, through necessity, it is the other way around. I’ve been told I’m a good listener when people have something serious to share, but in the day to day interactions I did most of the talking. Now I can sit back and pay closer attention, knowing there is little pressure for me to comment or respond.

If you want to know more about The Social Media Experiment, please visit Clark’s web pages.  In the final hours,  he is offering a chance to win an iPad, so there’s even more reason to learn more.