Kate's Voice

As humans, we are passionately driven to communicate. We want to be heard. We want to be understood. But to be heard above all the noise of our culture, you must have a voice that others will listen to. There has never been a better time to develop that voice. Resources for study and practice are abundant. Expertise is at an all time high and instead of taking on less importance as our technology advances, the human voice is more important than ever, adding warmth and humanity to a digital world. So if you are ready, make the commitment now. Find your voice in 2013 and use it. Here’s how:

Find it at home: Sing in the shower. Hum while you work. Practice your talks out loud in your living room. Above all, have more conversations that matter with your friends and family.

Find it at work: Volunteer to give more presentations…and make them good. Speak up in meetings. Take advantage of trainings that are offered on communication skills. Bring in a speaker for a brown bag lunch workshop on getting over stage fright. Have more conversations that matter with co-workers. Keep your intention aligned with your message and both with the sound of your voice.  Listen.

Find it with a coach: Perhaps this is the year to take a class in public speaking or singing,  take a workshop on communication,  OR maybe it’s the year to finally get a private coach.  Get recommendations for vocal coaches in your area and take some lessons with a few until you find the one that is right for you. Sign up for a course of study. Ask questions. Commit time to practice.  Do the work.

Find it in your community: Join Toastmasters. Join a community choir. Audition for a play or a musical. Be the voice for those who cannot speak on their own behalf. Speak out for a political or community cause. Join the speaker’s bureau at a local charity.

Find it online: Create a video and put it up on YouTube. Make comments on blogs and polls. Reach out to others of similar interest. Create a pod cast and share your expertise with others. And, of course, subscribe to Kate’sVoice and read it regularly for more voice tips and techniques!!

The sound of another voice and the touch of another hand are among life’s most precious offerings. In the end, connection with others is at the core of our desires. Creating clear communication takes consistent, focused attention and work, but it is work that will bring the greatest rewards that life has to offer. Make this the year that you find your voice and use it to connect with others, get more of what you want out of life, and make a difference for all of us. Happy New Year!

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The other day, I was speaking with  a woman who has chronic laryngitis.  Her voice is very low and husky, and she gets lots of comments on “that sexy voice.”  To me, it sounds tired and unhealthy, but I know people who want that sound because they DO think it’s sexy.  So the questions I want to answer today are

• What is a sexy voice, and
• How do you create it? (and is there time before Valentine’s Day???)

What makes a voice sound sexy?

A now-famous study by Gordon Gallup and others at the University of Albany showed that both men and women with attractive voices also had more attractive bodies, and a larger sex life.  The researchers were able to show that women felt that low voices were more attractive in men, but they were unable to conclude what makes a woman’s voice sound more attractive to men.  In a later study, however,Dr. Gallup found that women’s voices are most attractive to both men and other women when they are at the peak of fertility, which in fact, causes their pitch to rise rather than drop. This is caused by the presence of more estrogen, just as a lower voice in men is associated with a higher level of testosterone.  This makes sense.  First and foremost, even in this modern world, we are attracted to people for procreation, and the voice seems to be an indicator of the right chemistry!

Perhaps the reason we think a low voice sounds sexy is because we are intuitively aware that a low voice means power.  This is true in the most primal way, of course, but again, we cannot deny our primal roots!  As women have sought to compete more and more with men in the workplace, they have lowered their voices.  Anne Karpf discusses this trend in her book, The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are.   It seems that the average pitch of women’s voices is no longer an octave higher than a man’s, but just 2/3 of an octave.  The problem with this trend is that it is hazardous to the voice.  Speaking too low can cause nodules, or calluses on the vocal folds, chronic laryngitis, and reduce the flexibility of the vocal mechanism.

So, I want to stop all this nonsense about a low voice being sexy and about power being demonstrated by a low voice and get to the heart of it.  A sexy voice is grounded, just like a sexy person is confident.  A sexy voice has vibrant resonance, just as a sexy person is vibrant.  And a sexy voice is flexible, reflecting a sensitive, emotional person.  If you have those three things, your sexy voice will be healthy and it will reflect your emotions and desires.

How to create a sexy voice

1. Make your breathing low and expansive.  Just like good sex, good breathing is low and deep (now you will never forget that about proper breathing!)
2. Create a resonance that is powerful by using mask resonance.  To do this, humming is a great tool, and music is the food of love, of course.  (Research shows that music stimulates the brain in the same place as food and sex, by the way, so you know why I always recommend humming!!)
3. Create variety in your sound by letting your voice show your emotions.  An emotional connection with your voice allows others to feel closer to you too…hint, hint

Update:  A post from Huff Post on love songs you can sing…that’s sexy too.  Top Ten Love Songs That Are Easy to Sing