Kate'sVoice

Not too long ago, someone called me asking for help with his voice.  He wanted to sound like Rod Stewart.  Without batting an eye, I said, “You don’t need a lesson.  Just yell a lot, smoke a couple packs a day and don’t get any sleep.”  He thanked me and hung up.  How about that?  I actually like Rod Stewart, but I wouldn’t want to sound like him, and I don’t usually coach people to ruin their voices.  However, I believe that a person has the right to sound the way they want to sound.  So, with that in mind, here is a list of ten things you can do to ruin your voice, or make it sound like someone who has ruined their voice, however you see it. (By the way, if you DON’T want to ruin your voice, take this as a list of things NOT to do!)

1. Smoke. Smoking does terrible things to your voice and your body.  It’s certain that it will make your voice less flexible, dry and crackly, lower than it used to be, and may even cause laryngeal cancer, in which case your voice will be eliminated.  Perfect!
2. Scream. My kids used to assure me that there were secrets that their favorite “Screamo” artists used to keep their voices completely healthy in spite of screaming every night on stage.  If you know any of these secrets, please let me know, because screaming is still high on my list of guaranteed voice wreckers.
3. Avoid drinking water. Since water is the lubrication for your vocal folds, without it you will need to clear your throat all the time, which will irritate the cords and make them more likely to become red and puffy, which may eventually lead to nodules or other permanent damage.
4. Pitch your voice as low as you can get it and force the sound out.  To help you with this, there are several websites that promote a sexy low voice, so you can even get some help from someone who is not a vocal practitioner
5. Get help with your voice from someone who is not a vocal practitioner.
6. And if you use one of those on-line solutions, ignore the notice that says you may hurt yourself doing this!
7. Push that sound out until it hurts. Don’t take breaks when your voice starts to feel tired. Instead, push it to the limit and then more.  As we say in the voice world, “no pain, no strain.”
8. Eat a big meal just before going to sleep. Acid reflux is one of the best ways to destroy an otherwise healthy voice, and if you do this night after night,  you may even develop esophageal cancer.
9. Attend parties and try to speak over all the noise.  You cannot produce a sound you cannot hear, so you are sure to strain your voice trying to speak loud enough to hear yourself.
10. The next time you get laryngitis, go to the doctor and get some steroids.  Then continue to speak as though there were nothing wrong.  In fact go out and sing karaoke, and impress all your friends with your low sexy sound.  A few days of this, and you may ruin your voice for a good several months, or even permanently!!

If you have more suggestions, I’d love to hear them.  What’s going on with your voice?

My intention in offering a few free voice training sessions is to help spread the love (L.O.V.E.) this week.  As Anne Karpf says, “The sound of the human voice has an unrivaled capacity to flood the listener psychologically.”  This is from The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are (My second favorite book on vocal image…mine being the first, of course Can You Hear Me Now?)  However, I have observed that many people do not know exactly what they are flooding their listeners with, and that can be especially sticky when you are dealing with a lover or spouse.  Therefore, I am offering a free 30-minute session for the first 8 people who contact me this week.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A 30-minute session on the phone with me.  I will listen to your voice, and evaluate how you use it, based on vocal image, vocal health, and considering any specific vocal issues you may be experiencing.  I’ll also make recommendations for ways to improve or expand your voice.  This is a $100 value.

Although I’m offering this as a Valentine special, the offer is also open to those who  want help with their voices for public speaking, teaching, training, work or singing, or if you just want to create a better voice.  So if you have been looking to get some voice help and haven’t known where to start or if you have been thinking about contacting me, this is your chance.

Here’s what you need to do to take advantage of this offer.  Fill out the contact form here, or call me at 714-777-9231.  I will  set up sessions with the first 8 people who respond to this post.  Please do not leave a comment here (I can’t believe I’m saying that!!!!) unless you have difficulty reaching me the other two ways.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together!  Everyone deserves to create the voice they want, and it will be a lot of fun to see what we can do with this!

The other day, I was speaking with  a woman who has chronic laryngitis.  Her voice is very low and husky, and she gets lots of comments on “that sexy voice.”  To me, it sounds tired and unhealthy, but I know people who want that sound because they DO think it’s sexy.  So the questions I want to answer today are

• What is a sexy voice, and
• How do you create it? (and is there time before Valentine’s Day???)

What makes a voice sound sexy?

A now-famous study by Gordon Gallup and others at the University of Albany showed that both men and women with attractive voices also had more attractive bodies, and a larger sex life.  The researchers were able to show that women felt that low voices were more attractive in men, but they were unable to conclude what makes a woman’s voice sound more attractive to men.  In a later study, however, Dr. Gallup found that women’s voices are most attractive to both men and other women when they are at the peak of fertility, which in fact, causes their pitch to rise rather than drop. This is caused by the presence of more estrogen, just as a lower voice in men is associated with a higher level of testosterone.  This makes sense.  First and foremost, even in this modern world, we are attracted to people for procreation, and the voice seems to be an indicator of the right chemistry!

Perhaps the reason we think a low voice sounds sexy is because we are intuitively aware that a low voice means power.  This is true in the most primal way, of course, but again, we cannot deny our primal roots!  As women have sought to compete more and more with men in the workplace, they have lowered their voices.  Anne Karpf discusses this trend in her book, The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are.   It seems that the average pitch of women’s voices is no longer an octave higher than a man’s, but just 2/3 of an octave.  The problem with this trend is that it is hazardous to the voice.  Speaking too low can cause nodules, or calluses on the vocal folds, chronic laryngitis, and reduce the flexibility of the vocal mechanism.

So, I want to stop all this nonsense about a low voice being sexy and about power being demonstrated by a low voice and get to the heart of it.  A sexy voice is grounded, just like a sexy person is confident.  A sexy voice has vibrant resonance, just as a sexy person is vibrant.  And a sexy voice is flexible, reflecting a sensitive, emotional person.  If you have those three things, your sexy voice will be healthy and it will reflect your emotions and desires.

How to create a sexy voice

1. Make your breathing low and expansive.  Just like good sex, good breathing is low and deep (now you will never forget that about proper breathing!)
2. Create a resonance that is powerful by using mask resonance.  To do this, humming is a great tool, and music is the food of love, of course.  (Research shows that music stimulates the brain in the same place as food and sex, by the way, so you know why I always recommend humming!!)
3. Create variety in your sound by letting your voice show your emotions.  An emotional connection with your voice allows others to feel closer to you too…hint, hint

You are just about to make your point, bringing your dynamic and well-prepared speech to its exciting climax, when you open your mouth to speak and hear a horrible croak instead of your usual voice.  Frustrated, you clear your throat, and try again, but you sound like you are speaking underwater this time!  Again you clear your throat, loudly and aggressively.  Now, your voice is more clear, but you can still feel the crud rolling around in there, and sure enough, a few words later, there it is again.  Croak!  Someone from the audience rushes up with a glass of water. You guzzle it down in relief,  but you know the moment has passed.  The audience is now feeling a bit sorry for you…not what you had intended at all!

Well, it happens.  In other articles, we have talked about how to keep your voice healthy, how to deal with laryngitis and acid reflux, but there are minor issues that come up that cause problems that are NOT long-lasting.  Here are 3 things you can do , on the spot, to get rid of a frog in the throat, and also to deal with a couple of other vocal horrors: the “tickle,” and “the tremor.”

1. If your voice croaks like a frog:  Immediately, stop, lift up your hand to tell your audience “just a minute”, turn away from the mic, and create a little compression in your throat (like the beginning of clearing your throat, but without all the noise.) It’s a little graveley sound you want to create, and you can do this very quietly two or three times.  If it doesn’t clear up, stop, let the audience know you need a minute, and drink several large sips of water.  Wait another few seconds, use that little compression sound to clear your cords, and speak.  If you still get some croaking, drink some more water.  In fact, over the next few minutes drink the entire glass by sipping between ideas. Water thins out the mucous and creates a nice lubrication usually eliminating the globs that are causing the problem.
2. If your voice shakes : Sometimes your voice is unsteady because of nerves.  If you suspect this is the case for you, stop,  and take a breath.  Calm yourself down with low, expansive breathing.  Then speak again.  For some, starting each talk with a resounding, confident “Hello!” may be the cure for a shaky voice.  It gets the air moving, which is what you really need.  For more tips on handling nervousness, please read this post by Sandra Zimmer on Six Minutes.
3. If you get a tickle: Your first  response is probably to take a sip of water, which may work just fine.  But the tickle is in the larynx, usually, not the esophagus, so if the tickle doesn’t go away, a slight cough can help to clear the larynx of phlegm.  A tickle may also be caused by dry air on the vocal folds.  In this case, breathing in through the nose will help warm and moisten the air; take a low breath, letting the abdominal muscles expand and your throat relax.  Then be sure to actively use the air in the sound when you speak.

While there are potentially many aspects of a presentation that can take away from your presentation if not addressed (please read Joan Curtis’ Blog post on Communication Culprits), there is no doubt that a voice malfunction can make you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.  Don’t let it.  Learn these tricks for dealing with it physically because sooner or later, you will need this information.  But when it happens,  know that it’s just part of the deal.  Your voice is your greatest asset as a speaker or singer, but it is part of your body and it has its good days and its bad days, just like your hair.

What other vocal issues come up for you as a speaker? Write a comment about it and let’s see what we can do to solve it or give you a quick remedy.  And if you stump me, I’ll do the research and get back to you.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Update:  Great recent post on another problem for speakers: stuttering.  Please read  Eloquent Woman

Investing in Your Vocal Image: A Tale of Two Strategies

Recently, a female executive, we’ll call her Joann, came to me, complaining that too often at the end of a long day she left the office with a hoarse voice and a feeling of utter exhaustion. All she wanted to do was to go home, curl up with a good book and tune everyone nearby out.

Joann admitted that things at work were more stressful than usual. While she was intensely focused on trying to secure additional funding for her growing company, her voice giving out at the end of the day was a new and troublesome problem.

Strategy 1: Getting back in shape

We spent some time getting her voice back in shape by raising her pitch to a more natural level and developing some resonance so that she didn’t need to work so hard at being heard. She was surprised at how easy it was to lift the strain from her voice, even though it took a bit of time to become comfortable speaking in this new way, especially on the phone.

Now, let me say Joann is gregarious by nature. She loves to spin a good story and she always has plenty of color and detail to make any subject she talks about come to life. She is also clear, compelling and strong. She uses humor well and can really draw people into a conversation: All ingredients of a great public speaker. (For more information on presentations skills for executives , please read this recent post from Kathy Reiffenstein on  Professionally Speaking.) I suspected, however, that her vocal choices might be getting in the way of her efforts to raise money for her company.

Strategy 2:  Presenting a deal-maker voice

Taking a chance, I asked whether she was having success with her funding efforts, particularly with her presentations. Joann confessed that although she was not scaring potential investors off, she wasn’t closing any deals either. I asked her if she would make her presentation to me. Just as I presumed, her content was clear and compelling, but her vocal image, specifically the cadence of her voice, was not aligned with her message or intent.

One of the things that makes Joanne sound so friendly is a habitual upward pitch, or open cadence, at the end of her sentences that invites people into the conversation. The problem is she uses this cadence even when she is making a declaration. The upward cadence causes her to seem indecisive and, even worse, wishy-washy. Not exactly the impression you want to give a potential investor. *

She was game to try a different approach since she was determined to get support for her company.  We worked on her cadence and other aspects of her vocal image. Within a short time she began to see a difference. She landed the investments she needed, and she started to go home feeling fulfilled rather than exhausted.

Summary

Today, people see Joanne as both authoritative and open. She makes conscious vocal choices to close a deal or make a friend—two situations which require two different vocal strategies.

P.S. I feel great to have been able to help Joanne learn to manage her vocal image in support of her social life as well as her work. I love my job!

*The Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation posts a daily blog that will be of  great interest to executives, and includes information on communication styles and gender differences in the workplace and as individuals,  as well as conflict resolution.  Its authors are some of the foremost authorities on negotiating today.

I am proud to see my blog on 6-Minutes’ Definitive List of public speaking blogs, and I am also proud to be addressing the use and care of one of the most important assets to a speaker (or anyone, for that matter!), the human voice.  So, I’m starting the New Year off with a bit of a rant about the importance of training your voice.

Many CEO’s, public statesmen, and great conversationalists have learned the value of training their voices.  When it comes to public speaking, having the latest technology is not a good substitute for a poor voice.  I know many people will tell you that, but here is my take on it: People are always more interesting to other people than  slides.  Along these lines, I love the post by Olivia Mitchell that tells you how to use the beam of your projector like a spotlight…well that’s not exactly what she said, but as an actor, I’ve always believed that was a much over-looked opportunity! Anyway, Mitchell is someone who gives great advice on the appropriate use of technology in your talks, while also talking about finding your strengths as a speaker with human skills such as eye contact and gesturing.

Yet even with all the human elements of eye contact and gestures,  there really is a direct correlation between “voice” and being a speaker.   Since people come to “hear” you, they expect to hear something they want to listen to. I know that I am a voice teacher, but  your voice is your most valuable asset and the way it sounds may be much more important than you think. In fact,  the remarkable Julian Treasure affirms this when he says, “The human voice is the most powerful sound on the planet.”   To find out why, I encourage you to visit his website, Sound Business.

How studying voice will improve your impact as a speaker

The truth is that you are already making an impact on others with your voice, but the impact you are making with your voice may not be the one you want to make.  In order to create the sound you want, and make sure it is a healthy sound that will optimize your most valuable asset, you must

1. be aware of how you sound and what you like and don’t like about your voice
2. become aware of the sound you are creating and the effect it has on others
3. know how to make a sound that brings out the best in your voice, but also one that won’t hurt you

To accomplish this, you have to listen to yourself and others, but you really need someone else to listen to you and give you feedback, too, and preferably someone who knows what they are doing.

Aligning your voice with your intentions
One of my clients, who is a Fortune 100 CEO, was finding himself hoarse at the end of the day even on days when he was presenting at a conference.   He talked all day long and  found that when he got home, he had to stay quiet in order to save his voice for his work.  This then took a toll on his communication with his wife and kids.  In addition, he started to have difficulty being understood when he got up in front of people, and his publicist started complaining that his image wasn’t as strong as it used to be.  His voice problems were effecting his personal life as well as his business communicatiion by the time he started working with me.  We made some changes that helped tremendously, but the truth is that he could have avoided those issues altogether if he had had training earlier.

You can choose to have your voice more fully support your sense of who you are and what you want to do with your life, and you can have a healthy, vibrant sound. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune.  It doesn’t have to take years to accomplish.  But think of it this way.  Your voice is part of your body and it is the only one you get.  If you depend on it in your job, it’s a good idea to understand it and take care of it so that you don’t abuse it or even lose it.

It’s like having a great tool in your tool kit and the more you know about it the better you can utilize its strengths.  People who train their voices  have learn that aligning their sound and vocal image with their sense of purpose and intention often results in impact beyond their expectations.

According to the Daily World Buzz, the top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are listed below.  I am not sure where they get their list, but I can’t argue that these things are probably on many lists, and if you Google  New Year’s Resolutions, most of these come up year after year!

The Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are:

Get into shape, Save money, Lose weight, Give up smoking, Assess work/life balance,  Learn a new skill, Be kinder to myself, Give up/ cut alcohol intake, Give up / eat less chocolate,  and Clean out closets.

All of these resolutions are about making changes for the better.  Now, wouldn’t it be great if you could make just one commitment, make one change, or take on one new activity in the new year that would satisfy of all of them?  Well, I humbly submit that you can.  Studying voice will do all this and more.  How?  Let’s take a look at the resolutions and see how.

1 Get into shape. Singing is a very physical activity.  Breathing for singing alone can be very demanding if done correctly.  Little known fact: It’s quite possible to get a “six-pack” from practicing proper breathing!  (My partner will validate mine   Plus, most teachers will require that you stand in front of a mirror during lessons or to practice, and there is nothing quite like mirror-time to convince you to get in shape!!

2 Save money. Well, I can’t help you here because you usually have to pay for lessons.  But I suppose your desire to improve yourself may be motivation to sock away the dollars needed for the lessons, and if you can save for one desire, perhaps you can save money for other things too.

3 Lose weight. The increased activity from learning to stand and breath properly will help you drop pounds and inches, especially if you also eat less (not most singer’s strong suit, but….), and since you have to fit lessons into your life, you will probably have less time to eat than you did before.  And then of course, you will have to stand up in front of your fans to show them your progress, so you will need to look good in your rock star outfit!

4 Give up smoking. Smoking makes your vocal folds dry and irritated, and compromises the process of singing or even speaking well.  Progress is very slow and can be frustrating.  You will probably have to quit smoking in order to study voice  or it may be a waste of your time and money.  Besides, no voice teacher worth her salt will work with someone who is a smoker.  It just doesn’t make sense.

5 Assess work/life balance. Although studying voice may add another activity to your already-busy life, the thought of taking it on can force you to assess your work/life balance.  And humming at work is a great way to keep things in perspective.

5 Learn a new skill. If you have never studied voice before, you will obviously be learning a new skill.  But if you  already sing or are a public speaker, you will still learn new skills.  In fact, when it comes to voices, even professionals need trained ears to hear them from time to time and advise them on their technique and improve their skill. In addition, learning to use your voice more effectively will help all of your communication.

7 Be kinder to myself. Singing is very enjoyable.  Often, when I tell people what I do, they tell me that they have always wanted to be able to sing.  Certainly, doing something that is fun and that you have always wanted to do is being kind to yourself, even if you think your singing in public is not kind to anyone else!  So what?!  Take the lessons for yourself.  By the way, less than 1% of the population is actually tone deaf.  Everyone else can sing to one degree or another.

8 Give up/ cut alcohol intake. With all of your practicing and lesson time, you will have less time to drink.  In fact you may want to drink less because you will be happier.  Research by Dr. Alfred Tomatis tells us that singing massages the brain and calms us down.  Very cool!  This being the case, there is much less need to drink if you already feel good.

9 Give up / eat less chocolate. OK.  This is one resolution to which I take exception.  Since we all know chocolate is good for you, let’s not be stupid!  In fact, I think you should take a piece of dark chocolate with you to each lesson and share it with your voice coach!

10 Clean out closets. The motivation to do this last one can easily be derived from learning to sing.  First of all, you need to have a place to practice where no one else will interfere.  Closets are good for that, so you will need to clean out your closet in order to find that space.  Secondly, because creative activity makes you feel more energized, you will find that after a lesson you are pumped up and it will be easy to take on your closet.

In short,  New Year’s resolutions require goal setting, dedication, and patience to see through.  If you wish to make changes and are looking for a way to make them stick, there is nothing like a new discipline to help you.  Studying voice requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to do things differently; in other words, it’s  just the kind of activity that can change your life for the better.

You can tell she is lying by the sound of her voice!!! lol

There it was.  A sound in his voice that indicated to the experts on Cal Lightman’s team that the suspect was lying.  It was a change in his sound at the end of the sentence.  Dr. Gillian Foster could tell easily that the man was smiling, even though she couldn’t see him.  She described his voice thinning out and getting a little higher.  In this case, this led her to conclude that the man was lying.

Now, let me ask you this.  Did YOU hear the change in his voice?  I did.  In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.  We can “hear” facial expressions and attitudes reflected in a person’s voice.  That’s because of physiological changes in the way we make sounds based on how we feel.

However, we can also “hear” a person’s intentions.  The voice is incredibly revealing.  This is why it’s so important to prepare for a speech or a presentation, to identify your intentions or purpose and keep them in mind.  Actors and performers are well aware of this.  Method acting was born of this phenomena.  But even dancers know about it.  In an article in Dance Magazine, I read this:

“I dance better when I have a reason to do the steps,” says Kimberly Cowen of Kansas City Ballet.

Good communication requires clarity;  clarity requires clear intention.  Too often we go into a presentation or a discussion without a clear intention for our communication.  We are then surprised that our message comes across confusing and ineffective.  A recent series on one person’s blog discusses the effect of intention and tone of voice in parenting.  In fact,  this topic is so important to Amblin that she is dedicated to discussing it through January of 2010!

Unclear intentions result in unclear communication. Conversely,  you don’t have to be a Cal Lightman to hear where a speaker is coming from.  It’s written all over their voice!

P.S. You can replay that episode of Lie to Me on the Fox website and check it out for yourself.  By the way, I think the web site is pretty cool.  Play the video that shows you tips and techniques for uncovering lies.  Not only is it fun, but I think it’s very helpful for speakers and performers.

As I’ve said before, your voice is a powerful tool. Using it with awareness and skill is essential to your credibility and persuasiveness as a speaker. The sound of your voice—your “vocal image”—can imply such things as friendliness or hostility, tolerance or prejudice, and weakness or strength. Many people fail in their communication simply because their vocal image does not align with their message.

Practical Application:  If you want to discover the nature of your vocal image, make a recording of yourself. Record yourself talking naturally in a normal conversation. If possible, also record yourself giving a short presentation.  Listen to the recording and consider the following three components of your vocal image.

Pitch:

Pitch is not determined by your volume, but rather by the notes you use when you speak.  Yes, we use notes when speaking just as we do when singing.  If you use a lot of variety in the pitch of your voice, people are likely to perceive you as friendly.  A variety of pitch also suggests flexibility and openness to others’ ideas. A voice with less pitch variance comes across as more demanding and authoritative.  Listen to your recording and determine if you have a varied pitch. Does it align with your intended message? Experiment with increasing and decreasing your pitch until it aligns with your message.

By the way, don’t take my word for it!  As a speaker, you can really benefit by reading Six Minutes, and the post on Vocal Variety, where Pitch is a big component of success for Toastmasters!!

Speed or Pace:

Listen to your recording and think about the speed of your delivery. If you speak quickly, you may be seen as assertive.  If you speak too quickly, you may seem nervous.  On the other hand, a slow delivery can be perceived as boring.  If you find that you speak too fast, force yourself to slow down and breathe more often.  If you speak too slowly, try to walk with purpose and energy while practicing your speech. A technique that many experienced speakers use is to accent their normal speed with slow speech. In doing this, the words which are spoken slowly are emphasized.  Consider how your speed of delivery aligns with the message you want to deliver.

Cadence:

Cadence is the way that you end your sentences.  Generally, a “feminine cadence” goes up in pitch at the end of a sentence. When pitch goes down at the end of a sentence, it’s a “masculine cadence.”  A feminine cadence invites a response and seems open to others’ ideas.  A masculine cadence makes a demand or a point and may sound less open to others’ ideas.  Effective speakers use both appropriately.  If people often interrupt you, you may want to add a more masculine cadence to your speech.  Similarly, if others seldom contribute to your discussions, you may be overusing the masculine cadence. Try introducing a female cadence when you would like input from others.

By the way, I really enjoy reading “The Eloquent Woman,” a blog for women on public speaking.  The author, Denise Graveline, often discusses gender differences in communication from a speaker’s perspective.  Check it out!

Record and study the natural qualities of your vocal image. Consider your pitch, speed, and cadence. Don’t forget to ask others to give you feedback so you can learn how your voice affects them. Once you become aware of your vocal image, you can begin to better align it with your message and become a more credible and persuasive speaker.

Which of these sentences pulls at your heart?

Ten-year-old Sean walked excitedly to the door of the music room with his new violin in hand and was very sad to find a note on the door stating that the program had been canceled.

The district cut the music class because of lack of funding.

One of the things that bothers me most about charity events is that people spend so much time on speeches!  We want to hear from the people doing the work and we want to hear about what they are doing.  However,  what we want to know most is that what WE are doing is meaningful.  The most effective way to reach others is by reminding them of themselves, and the best way to do that is through storytelling.  Therefore, the second rule for speaking up for a cause is to tell some stories.

We tell stories because your story reminds me of my own and creates a connection with us.  That connection is what moves me to support your cause, not the story itself.

What is a story?  Well, our first sentence is a story.  A story has a beginning, a middle and an end. And it doesn’t have to be long.  Let’s see how this works.

A good story has an emotional component, and an obstacle that has to be overcome. Our story about Sean has this.  Using color words like “excitedly”, and “new,” and”sad” create an emotional component.  Using some action that is thwarted creates the obstacle: he walked up only to find that the class was canceled.

In fundraising, you can use a  story with an obstacle to be overcome, and create a need within others to help solve that problem.  OR you can use a good story to show how the work that is being done is helping to overcome the obstacle. Our sentence uses the first approach. Either way is effective, especially if you remember the first rule of lending your voice to a cause which is to speak from the heart.