Kate'sVoice

I am often surprised by the lack of research in the area of voice as a barometer for the psyche, but we all know it is.  I got a voice mail from my daughter the other day.  All she said was, “Hi, Mom.  Call me,” but I knew something was wrong.  Fortunately, it was not a big problem, but how did I know there was a problem at all?  It wasn’t what she said; it was how she said it.  Politicians can deliver eloquent, powerful phrases in response to accusations, and we think we know they are lying, no matter what they actually say.

A study done in Geneva has shown that emotions can be “heard” in the voice.  An emotion is what happens when many interconnected processes of interpretation, bodily reaction and expression happen in response to a situation, either external or internal.  Emotion is physical.  Therefore, since the voice IS also physical, it is no wonder that we can “hear” emotions in the voice.  It happens through changes in the muscles, the breath and the brain which in turn affect the pitch, cadence, and inflection of the voice.  Coupled with the ability for the voice to show emotion is the ability for the ear to pick up minute differences in the sound the voice produces.  The ear can perceive 1400 different pitches and 280 different levels of volume for each pitch it can hear! So if you feel an emotion, you can be assured that no matter how hard you try to disguise it, someone will pick it up!

But what about intention?  Can we pick up intentions in a person’s voice or because of their relation to emotions, or is there something else going on?  Intention is what one has in mind to do or bring about, and I mean literally “in mind,” as was shown by two studies of intention.  In the first, it was revealed by New York researchers that infants as young as six months old can understand our intentions, and respond to them.  Another study used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to show that the mirror neuron system tracks not only the actions, but also the intentions, of others.  This mirror neuron system has been identified as being very important in guiding our social interactions, especially in survival and keeping us safe. Therefore, intention is a component of “trustworthiness” in social interaction and it is definitely picked up by others, which is why you need to be clear about your intention as a speaker.

Aligning your intention with others’

Public speaking often feels like a solo act.  Conversation can feel that way too!  In personal expression, you will almost always communicate the representation of your personal perspective.  You seek to persuade others, to inform others, or to entertain others.  However, if you truly need or want to communicate something, you need to consider the perspective of others. You can think of intention in public speaking as something akin to good marketing:  you need to know who you are, what you do and why anyone should care.  In an article called “The Power of the Ask,” Market Like a Chick blogger,  Coree Silvera, says “You build your solutions based on their needs and demonstrate how your unique product or service can help them achieve their goals.”  Likewise, when speaking with others, you do the same.  You are not looking for their intention to be the same as yours, but you must understand how their intention for being there intersects with or conflicts with yours.

Let’s look at some obvious examples.

• A political comedian may be hysterically funny to the Democrats and offensive to the Republicans, or vice versa.
• No matter how persuasive, a pharmaceutical rep may have a hard time convincing a convention of naturopaths that his product is viable.
• The most eloquent teacher in the world will not necessarily persuade a group of restless teenagers to sit and listen to him for hours.
• If you know that you have a solution to sell and they need your solution, that doesn’t mean that their intention is to buy from you.

Speech coach, Lisa Braithwaite has a recent article on her blog, Speak Schmeak, which addresses intentions in a broader picture.  She stresses that your words have to align with your actions, and in her examples, the actions have intentionalitiy behind them.  Though not in these words, she asks you to consider this:  what is the intention behind your actions?

It is safe to say that there are those who have persuaded others to listen when it was against the odds.  One fine example is that of a ten-year-old boy, Dalton Sherman, who has captured the hearts of over 500,000 viewers on YouTube.  Dalton is a passionate speaker who makes us believe in him because he obviously believes in himself.  Dalton’s voice is strong.  His words are strong, and he intends that we move together to make a strong difference in education.

Discovering Intention

How can you be more like Dalton?  How can you better align your intention with your voice and your content?  The first step is often to get very honest with yourself and to take inventory of what’s going on in your mind and the minds of your listeners.  Make it a part of what you do in preparation for a talk or a conversation.  And consider that circumstances may interfere with your intention.  A sound system fails, a heckler interrupts your talk, an unexpected emotional response affects you deeply, and changes your mind.  Still, an awareness of intention in yourself and others is key to more clear communication.  Here are some ways to discover yours and use it well.

• Ask yourself why you are there?  Are you there to convince the audience to do something?  Are you there to entertain?  Are you speaking to educate? Are you giving something away in order to get them to buy something else? Are you speaking on behalf of a cause? Are you using this as an opportunity to do something you weren’t actually asked to do? Did you agree to have lunch with someone because you would then be able to corner them with a topic they are not expecting? Are you apologizing? Are you wanting them to hear a grievance? There are many possibilities.  Write them down and be aware of them as you craft your speech or conversation.
• It may be more difficult to clarify intention when you are asked to speak on the spur of the moment.  In that situation, take a moment to consider the audience and who and why they are there.  Your intention is the intersection of why YOU are there, what you have been asked to do, and why the audience should care.
• Create a personal statement of intention for each project or product you need to represent.  Let that statement shape your intention in your communication with others.
• Research the purpose of the organizations and businesses for whom you speak.  Find ways in which their purpose and your intention intersect and use that as a filter in your communication with them.
• You have a unique perspective and personality to bring to whatever you do.  You have a voice that is unlike any other, both a physical one and a “voice” as an authentic presence in the world.  Your intention is always to bring that voice to the table so you can be heard.  And even though Dalton impresses us because he isn’t like most ten-year-olds, just like Dalton, you can bring your unique self to us and do so with confidence and clarity if you honestly believe in who you are what you have to say.

As I’ve said before, your voice is a powerful tool. Using it with awareness and skill is essential to your credibility and persuasiveness as a speaker. The sound of your voice—your “vocal image”—can imply such things as friendliness or hostility, tolerance or prejudice, and weakness or strength. Many people fail in their communication simply because their vocal image does not align with their message.

Practical Application:  If you want to discover the nature of your vocal image, make a recording of yourself. Record yourself talking naturally in a normal conversation. If possible, also record yourself giving a short presentation.  Listen to the recording and consider the following three components of your vocal image.

Pitch:

Pitch is not determined by your volume, but rather by the notes you use when you speak.  Yes, we use notes when speaking just as we do when singing.  If you use a lot of variety in the pitch of your voice, people are likely to perceive you as friendly.  A variety of pitch also suggests flexibility and openness to others’ ideas. A voice with less pitch variance comes across as more demanding and authoritative.  Listen to your recording and determine if you have a varied pitch. Does it align with your intended message? Experiment with increasing and decreasing your pitch until it aligns with your message.

By the way, don’t take my word for it!  As a speaker, you can really benefit by reading Six Minutes, and the post on Vocal Variety, where Pitch is a big component of success for Toastmasters!!

Speed or Pace:

Listen to your recording and think about the speed of your delivery. If you speak quickly, you may be seen as assertive.  If you speak too quickly, you may seem nervous.  On the other hand, a slow delivery can be perceived as boring.  If you find that you speak too fast, force yourself to slow down and breathe more often.  If you speak too slowly, try to walk with purpose and energy while practicing your speech. A technique that many experienced speakers use is to accent their normal speed with slow speech. In doing this, the words which are spoken slowly are emphasized.  Consider how your speed of delivery aligns with the message you want to deliver.

Cadence:

Cadence is the way that you end your sentences.  Generally, a “feminine cadence” goes up in pitch at the end of a sentence. When pitch goes down at the end of a sentence, it’s a “masculine cadence.”  A feminine cadence invites a response and seems open to others’ ideas.  A masculine cadence makes a demand or a point and may sound less open to others’ ideas.  Effective speakers use both appropriately.  If people often interrupt you, you may want to add a more masculine cadence to your speech.  Similarly, if others seldom contribute to your discussions, you may be overusing the masculine cadence. Try introducing a female cadence when you would like input from others.

By the way, I really enjoy reading “The Eloquent Woman,” a blog for women on public speaking.  The author, Denise Graveline, often discusses gender differences in communication from a speaker’s perspective.  Check it out!

Record and study the natural qualities of your vocal image. Consider your pitch, speed, and cadence. Don’t forget to ask others to give you feedback so you can learn how your voice affects them. Once you become aware of your vocal image, you can begin to better align it with your message and become a more credible and persuasive speaker.

It’s Monday, time for Monday Night Football.  Fans will be screaming in the stands and in the living room.  Some will end the day without a voice.  Most people don’t give laryngitis much thought, treating it  much as they would a runny nose or a cut on the finger, thinking it will get better.  However, the voice is more fragile than one would think, and even one bad scream can cause permanent damage.  Screaming is considered to be vocal abuse, not just misuse.  In most people, the small muscles of the vocal folds cannot sustain much abuse and laryngitis is an indication that you went too far!!

So if you go too far with that screaming, be sure to get some vocal rest.  Be quiet, drink warm liquids instead of cold, and write notes to people instead of talking.  Give yourself a couple of days to recover.

Note on SCREAMING as SINGING:  My children used to try to convince me that “screamers” in rock music could scream without hurting their voices.  Basically, this is completely false.  There is no way to have a strong, flexible,  healthy voice if you scream all the time unless you are a vocal freak…and there are some of those around too.  On the other hand, if you like the raspy sound, scream a lot, smoke at least a pack a day, and if your voice gets tired, rock on.

This week, look at the list you created of things you like about your voice.  Write one of these at the top of each page for the next five pages in your journal.  Study that aspect of your voice for one full day.  Consider how that strength affects others.  What does it say about you separate from your words?  How can you use that strength more effectively to present the vocal image you want?

My observations:

I have often been told that I sound friendly when I talk.  I use a lot of variety of pitch in my voice, influenced greatly by my training as a singer.  My challenge has been to add in the more commanding vocal sound that is created by using LESS variety of pitch.  The most influential communicators use both appropriately.  Conscious choices again.  For more information on cadence in the voice, please see my post in December, or refer to my book on page 97.

What is the fifth thing you would like to change about your voice?  Pay attention to your voice today and write your observations in your voice journal or your copy of my book, p.128.

By taking an inventory of the vocal patterns you hear in your own voice, and by studying those of speakers whose voices you find interesting or even annoying, you can begin to discern productive and unproductive patterns of speech. This is how you make the changes you want to create the voice you want.  But listening by itself doesn’t make the change stick. You have to practice doing things differently, and practice them enough to change the habit you’ve been living.  That’s why you do this three times a day if you can.  It helps you make the change more completely.

Observation:

I spent some time yesterday listening to others present.  I decided to count the “ums.”  Actually it was pretty entertaining.  I’ve heard that people who go to technology presentation will play acronym bingo, which is a similar sport!  Counting verbal fillers is something I do with my clients.  But what do you do once you have discovered how often you use verbal fillers?  Well, just as with this journal, merely having someone count your fillers…”ums,” “uhs,” “you knows,” “likes,” etc…will make you aware of your habits. Then it is surprising how much more easily you can change them.  I believe that the biggest reason for using verbal fillers is a fear of silence.  What I do when I hear myself saying, or wanting to say “um” is to stop myself and say nothing.  It works well to clean up my speech and remind me that every word is a conscious choice so I must choose wisely!

And now, CONGRATULATIONS!  You have made it through your first week of your practical application journal.  Take a break or keep going over the weekend. I’ll be back on Monday!

My father was a man of few words; my mother was a woman of many.  They had been married for nearly 50 years at the ti me of my father’s death.  The miracle of their marriage was that they were in love to that day.  When asked the secret of their successful relationship, both would answer, “Great communication.”  I became acutely aware of the problems that poor communication can create in a relationship when I went through a divorce.  The experience created an urgency in me to discover the priciples of effective conversation and coflict resolution.  I was probably trying to find a solution that would mean I would never have to go through that kind of pain again.  Of course, life isn’t like that.  There is no fix that fixes it all.  But understanding how we communicate and making it more conscious at least makes it possible to meet life with some tools that can help.

To this end, I highly recommend the work of Dennis Rivers, and his book on Co-operative Communication Skills. He gives it away free as a download and it is a great resource for anyone who works in teams, supervises others, has children, is in a relationship or argues a lot…lol  It is great!!  We’ll talk about his ideas from time to time.

At an early age, I became obsessed with the need to be understood. Not unusual for a self-focused kid, and some would say it is often the driving force of a middle child (my mom always called me the Ham in the Sandwich..with good reason!). I am sure that this obsession with being heard and understood eventually allowed me to be a performer and a public speaker and to feel very much at ease in front of others. (Are you kidding? They couldn’t keep me OFF of the stage!) It also led me to explore communication in general. This blog will often focus on what makes us better communicators. And this entry is focused on just that.

In general, the key to effective communication is clearly understanding your intention and how that intention aligns with your listener, your content, and the sound of your voice, or the clarity in whatever is your delivery method. So let’s take the first part of this formula today: Intention. Spending time every day to be clear about your intention in your communication is powerful! Here’s a process that can get you started:

• Create a life purpose statement and a work purpose statement. A purpose statement is a brief description of what you do and why you do it.
• Keep these statements in your notebook, date book, laptop, and on your desk- places where you will be able to read them throughout the day as you prepare talks, sales pitches, or discussions.
• Spend two or three minutes every morning consciously reviewing them and how they may apply to the day ahead.
• At the end of the day, spend a couple minutes reviewing them again, and see if you stayed on track.
• If not, make notes on what happened and how you might do things differently the next time.
• If you found that you were on track, plan to get more detailed with your intentions the next day.

Creating a statement of intention for each project or product you represent, and for any important conversations you plan to have will insure that you are more and more aware of what you are saying and how you are saying it! Try this for a month and let me know how it’s going. I’d love to hear from you!