Kate's Voice

Years ago, I was performing a role in a show when I came down with a bad case of laryngitis.  I did not have a cold, and it wasn’t clear to me how I had contracted laryngitis, but there was no doubt that my voice was gone.  Since the show needed to go on and I didn’t have an understudy, I did what any good singer would;  I went to see a laryngologist who gave me steroids (obviously we don’t have the same restrictions on our credibility as athletes!)  The steroids cleared up most of the symptoms and I finished the run that weekend as if there had been no problem with my voice…mostly!

On the Monday following the show’s closing, I woke up to find that the laryngitis was back, and worse than before.  I absolutely had no voice for days.  Subsequently, I learned that this can happen with the use of steroids because they don’t actually cure the problem.  They mask it, and use of your voice can damage already strained tissue and muscles even further.  I wasn’t too upset however because I needed the rest, but when two weeks went by without any significant improvement, it was time to return to the laryngologist.  After looking at my vocal folds with a laryngoscope he told me that it looked like I had been singing in a smoke-filled bar for hours each night! I needed extreme vocal rest. Since I had NOT been singing in a bar at all, or anywhere else for two weeks, he suggested that it must be allergies and prescribed an antihistamine along with the rest.  Eventually, the laryngitis went away, but it was still another few weeks before I was completely healed.

Looking back, it is clear to me that allergies were probably a part of the picture, though I never found the culprit, but I also know that I was going through a difficult personal time as well.  If I lost my voice today, I might ask different questions of the situation than I did at the time. Instead of running straight to the doctor, I might stop a moment to ask myself first what I needed to say that I was having difficulty saying.  I might ask myself something like “If you could find your voice, how and where would you find it? And if you could say anything you wanted to say without being worried about what someone else would think, what would you say?”

The part of ourselves we call our “voice” is more than muscles and sound.  It is how we express ourself in the world.   My definition of voice, in fact, is the intellectual and emotional impact our expression has on the world.  Your “voice” is a representation of the unique person you are.  It is a metaphor for your personality and ideas. In writing a blog or a book, your opinion is still your “voice.”  You can still “speak” in an e-mail.  You have a “voice” even when it is inaudible.  Therefore, when you can’t speak physically, it might be useful to look at the deeper issue of blocks to your personal expression for the underlying answer to the issue.

What do you think?

The remarkable movie, The King’s Speech,  http://www.kingsspeech.com/ is a must for anyone interested in the human voice. It illustrates the struggle to find one’s voice under dire circumstances.  Most of us will never know the agony of a stutterer, or the frustration of someone with chronic laryngitis or spasmodic dysphonia, although the problem is more common than one would think, according to the New York Times.

However, this true story has created a global conversation on the work of extreme vocal training and repair.  In this post, we are joining that conversation, inspired by a note from one of my readers named Richard.

“I’ve had thyroid cancer resulting in surgery and radiotherapy which left two sets of scar tissue pushing in around my larynx. My saliva glands have also never totally recovered. It seems that my natural pitch has changed and recently my voice has lost its power. Any thoughts for those of us with such physical limitations?”

It takes ¾ of your body to say “hello.”  Even a sprained ankle can affect the sound of your voice. Imagine, then, how your voice is affected by a heart attack, or a more directly related disease like thyroid cancer.  I am not a physician or speech pathologist.  However, over the years, I’ve worked with many people with vocal problems resulting from injury or illness, as well as those with challenges such as stuttering, and I have some observations and suggestions for you.

Know what you are up against.

1. When you have issues with your vocal health, it’s important to know what’s going on. See a physician and have your larynx examined. Do your own research too. If your voice is important to you, learn all you can about how it works and what can go wrong. There are some great resources on the web that can help you do your research and even point you to a good physician.  You might start by looking at the Voice Foundation website.
2. Decide what you want to do and how determined you are. It’s possible that you will never have the voice you once had.  However, your job is to create a voice that will serve you.  You have to discover what that voice is.  Your voice is more than the sound you can make.  It is also your perspective.  What voice do you want to bring to the world ?  We don’t all have the opportunity of a Roger Ebert, who now has a digital voice created from samples of his voice before he had his larynx removed.  You may think you don’t have the funds to hire a  vocal coach like King George VI, or you may be so frustrated by the energy it takes to try to communicate that you feel like giving up.  However, with enough determination you will find a way to be heard.  Meanwhile, take care of your physical voice with all of its limitations. Drink lots of fluids.  Rest it often.  Eat right.  Sleep well.

Listen

1. If you ask most people they will tell you that they hate the sound of their voice on a recording.  However, if you want to work with your voice, you have to hear it.  It has been shown that you can’t change a sound you can’t hear.The ear voice connection is extremely important!  Record yourself and get very honest about what you hear and don’t hear.  Pay attention while you are speaking or singing so that you can observe what is going on with your voice.  When my friend had a heart attack, he kept asking “What’s wrong with my voice?”  It didn’t sound different to me, but it did to him.  Your perception of your voice will change with any physical change in your body.  If your voice has changed due to illness or injury, you need to get used to before you can help heal it.
2. Listen to others. What are they saying about your voice?  What does it sound like to them? And also, listen to the way others speak.  Read books on voice, and listen to singers and public speakers. Training your ears to be more acute is a big step toward changing the way you speak or sing.
3. Listen to your heart. Years ago, I had lunch with a producer who could barely speak.  When I asked him what was wrong with his voice, he said “Nothing.  Why do you ask?”  I thought he was joking but soon found that he denied any problems.  That seemed incredible to me.  His condition was spasmodic dysphonia, vocal paralysis whose cause is not known, but often results from trauma. I can understand that there might be difficulty addressing this topic, but I also know that spasmodic dysphonia can be healed, through surgery , as in the case of Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert,and often by learning to speak as if you were singing!! You may remember that this phenomenon was illustrated in The King’s Speech, since it is also helpful for stuttering. But the voice is so incredibly linked to our hearts and souls that sometimes, vocal issues are too personal to deal with easily even when there IS a known cure. If that’s the case, find someone compassionate who can help you through that part, keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings, and make sure you take time to love your voice just as it is.

Be Diligent and Patient

1. Voices are created, not innate. It takes a couple of years for a baby to create a voice. It takes years for a healthy voice to be developed into a healthy singing voice and even longer to create a great one.  It can take a couple of months to see measurable results even in a healthy voice.  If you have a severe vocal problem, give yourself the time you need to heal, whatever that is, as well as the time you need to create your new voice.
2. See a vocal coach, once you have cleared that you are ok to sing or speak out.   Do some research here as well.  Make sure they know what they are doing.  As in The King’s Speech, the teacher who helps you most may not have credentials from UCLA or Harvard, but they may have the experience you need to help you change your experience of using your voice.  Your physician may be able to make a referral, or your local university music department.  Ask the coach to give you a full analysis of what they hear and what they prescribe in the way of training.  Take your time finding a coach.  When you get a referral, ask them to give you a list of their students you can either listen to, or speak with or both.  Make sure you feel you can work with the teacher and they with you.
3. Attend to your voice every day. Practice your exercises and awareness of your voice. Listen.  Pay attention to the sound and the feeling of your voice.  Make a plan and work your plan.  Give it time.
4. And find other ways to express your voice too. Blog about your experience.  Comment in social media.  Help others. A friend of this blog teaches a speech class even though he has a stutter.   Craig Senior is a blogger with a stuttering challenge.  If you have something to say, find a way to say it.

Update:  Just this past week, the second ever transplant of a human larynx occurred.  That is definitely extreme vocal repair.  You can read about it here.