Kate's Voice

Not too long ago, someone called me asking for help with his voice.  He wanted to sound like Rod Stewart.  Without batting an eye, I said, “You don’t need a lesson.  Just yell a lot, smoke a couple packs a day and don’t get any sleep.”  He thanked me and hung up.  How about that?  I actually like Rod Stewart, but I wouldn’t want to sound like him, and I don’t usually coach people to ruin their voices.  However, I believe that a person has the right to sound the way they want to sound.  So, with that in mind, here is a list of ten things you can do to ruin your voice, or make it sound like someone who has ruined their voice, however you see it. (By the way, if you DON’T want to ruin your voice, take this as a list of things NOT to do!)

1. Smoke. Smoking does terrible things to your voice and your body.  It’s certain that it will make your voice less flexible, dry and crackly, lower than it used to be, and may even cause laryngeal cancer, in which case your voice will be eliminated.  Perfect!
2. Scream. My kids used to assure me that there were secrets that their favorite “Screamo” artists used to keep their voices completely healthy in spite of screaming every night on stage.  If you know any of these secrets, please let me know, because screaming is still high on my list of guaranteed voice wreckers.
3. Avoid drinking water. Since water is the lubrication for your vocal folds, without it you will need to clear your throat all the time, which will irritate the cords and make them more likely to become red and puffy, which may eventually lead to nodules or other permanent damage.
4. Pitch your voice as low as you can get it and force the sound out.  To help you with this, there are several websites that promote a sexy low voice, so you can even get some help from someone who is not a vocal practitioner
5. Get help with your voice from someone who is not a vocal practitioner.
6. And if you use one of those on-line solutions, ignore the notice that says you may hurt yourself doing this!
7. Push that sound out until it hurts. Don’t take breaks when your voice starts to feel tired. Instead, push it to the limit and then more.  As we say in the voice world, “no pain, no strain.”
8. Eat a big meal just before going to sleep. Acid reflux is one of the best ways to destroy an otherwise healthy voice, and if you do this night after night,  you may even develop esophageal cancer.
9. Attend parties and try to speak over all the noise.  You cannot produce a sound you cannot hear, so you are sure to strain your voice trying to speak loud enough to hear yourself.
10. The next time you get laryngitis, go to the doctor and get some steroids.  Then continue to speak as though there were nothing wrong.  In fact go out and sing karaoke, and impress all your friends with your low sexy sound.  A few days of this, and you may ruin your voice for a good several months, or even permanently!!

If you have more suggestions, I’d love to hear them.  What’s going on with your voice?

My intention in offering a few free voice training sessions is to help spread the love (L.O.V.E.) this week.  As Anne Karpf says, “The sound of the human voice has an unrivaled capacity to flood the listener psychologically.”  This is from The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are (My second favorite book on vocal image…mine being the first, of course Can You Hear Me Now?)  However, I have observed that many people do not know exactly what they are flooding their listeners with, and that can be especially sticky when you are dealing with a lover or spouse.  Therefore, I am offering a free 30-minute session for the first 8 people who contact me this week.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A 30-minute session on the phone with me.  I will listen to your voice, and evaluate how you use it, based on vocal image, vocal health, and considering any specific vocal issues you may be experiencing.  I’ll also make recommendations for ways to improve or expand your voice.  This is a $100 value.

Although I’m offering this as a Valentine special, the offer is also open to those who  want help with their voices for public speaking, teaching, training, work or singing, or if you just want to create a better voice.  So if you have been looking to get some voice help and haven’t known where to start or if you have been thinking about contacting me, this is your chance.

Here’s what you need to do to take advantage of this offer.  Fill out the contact form here, or call me at 714-777-9231.  I will  set up sessions with the first 8 people who respond to this post.  Please do not leave a comment here (I can’t believe I’m saying that!!!!) unless you have difficulty reaching me the other two ways.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together!  Everyone deserves to create the voice they want, and it will be a lot of fun to see what we can do with this!