Kate'sVoice

Not too long ago, someone called me asking for help with his voice.  He wanted to sound like Rod Stewart.  Without batting an eye, I said, “You don’t need a lesson.  Just yell a lot, smoke a couple packs a day and don’t get any sleep.”  He thanked me and hung up.  How about that?  I actually like Rod Stewart, but I wouldn’t want to sound like him, and I don’t usually coach people to ruin their voices.  However, I believe that a person has the right to sound the way they want to sound.  So, with that in mind, here is a list of ten things you can do to ruin your voice, or make it sound like someone who has ruined their voice, however you see it. (By the way, if you DON’T want to ruin your voice, take this as a list of things NOT to do!)

1. Smoke. Smoking does terrible things to your voice and your body.  It’s certain that it will make your voice less flexible, dry and crackly, lower than it used to be, and may even cause laryngeal cancer, in which case your voice will be eliminated.  Perfect!
2. Scream. My kids used to assure me that there were secrets that their favorite “Screamo” artists used to keep their voices completely healthy in spite of screaming every night on stage.  If you know any of these secrets, please let me know, because screaming is still high on my list of guaranteed voice wreckers.
3. Avoid drinking water. Since water is the lubrication for your vocal folds, without it you will need to clear your throat all the time, which will irritate the cords and make them more likely to become red and puffy, which may eventually lead to nodules or other permanent damage.
4. Pitch your voice as low as you can get it and force the sound out.  To help you with this, there are several websites that promote a sexy low voice, so you can even get some help from someone who is not a vocal practitioner
5. Get help with your voice from someone who is not a vocal practitioner.
6. And if you use one of those on-line solutions, ignore the notice that says you may hurt yourself doing this!
7. Push that sound out until it hurts. Don’t take breaks when your voice starts to feel tired. Instead, push it to the limit and then more.  As we say in the voice world, “no pain, no strain.”
8. Eat a big meal just before going to sleep. Acid reflux is one of the best ways to destroy an otherwise healthy voice, and if you do this night after night,  you may even develop esophageal cancer.
9. Attend parties and try to speak over all the noise.  You cannot produce a sound you cannot hear, so you are sure to strain your voice trying to speak loud enough to hear yourself.
10. The next time you get laryngitis, go to the doctor and get some steroids.  Then continue to speak as though there were nothing wrong.  In fact go out and sing karaoke, and impress all your friends with your low sexy sound.  A few days of this, and you may ruin your voice for a good several months, or even permanently!!

If you have more suggestions, I’d love to hear them.  What’s going on with your voice?

My intention in offering a few free voice training sessions is to help spread the love (L.O.V.E.) this week.  As Anne Karpf says, “The sound of the human voice has an unrivaled capacity to flood the listener psychologically.”  This is from The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are (My second favorite book on vocal image…mine being the first, of course Can You Hear Me Now?)  However, I have observed that many people do not know exactly what they are flooding their listeners with, and that can be especially sticky when you are dealing with a lover or spouse.  Therefore, I am offering a free 30-minute session for the first 8 people who contact me this week.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A 30-minute session on the phone with me.  I will listen to your voice, and evaluate how you use it, based on vocal image, vocal health, and considering any specific vocal issues you may be experiencing.  I’ll also make recommendations for ways to improve or expand your voice.  This is a $100 value.

Although I’m offering this as a Valentine special, the offer is also open to those who  want help with their voices for public speaking, teaching, training, work or singing, or if you just want to create a better voice.  So if you have been looking to get some voice help and haven’t known where to start or if you have been thinking about contacting me, this is your chance.

Here’s what you need to do to take advantage of this offer.  Fill out the contact form here, or call me at 714-777-9231.  I will  set up sessions with the first 8 people who respond to this post.  Please do not leave a comment here (I can’t believe I’m saying that!!!!) unless you have difficulty reaching me the other two ways.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together!  Everyone deserves to create the voice they want, and it will be a lot of fun to see what we can do with this!

The other day, I was speaking with  a woman who has chronic laryngitis.  Her voice is very low and husky, and she gets lots of comments on “that sexy voice.”  To me, it sounds tired and unhealthy, but I know people who want that sound because they DO think it’s sexy.  So the questions I want to answer today are

• What is a sexy voice, and
• How do you create it? (and is there time before Valentine’s Day???)

What makes a voice sound sexy?

A now-famous study by Gordon Gallup and others at the University of Albany showed that both men and women with attractive voices also had more attractive bodies, and a larger sex life.  The researchers were able to show that women felt that low voices were more attractive in men, but they were unable to conclude what makes a woman’s voice sound more attractive to men.  In a later study, however, Dr. Gallup found that women’s voices are most attractive to both men and other women when they are at the peak of fertility, which in fact, causes their pitch to rise rather than drop. This is caused by the presence of more estrogen, just as a lower voice in men is associated with a higher level of testosterone.  This makes sense.  First and foremost, even in this modern world, we are attracted to people for procreation, and the voice seems to be an indicator of the right chemistry!

Perhaps the reason we think a low voice sounds sexy is because we are intuitively aware that a low voice means power.  This is true in the most primal way, of course, but again, we cannot deny our primal roots!  As women have sought to compete more and more with men in the workplace, they have lowered their voices.  Anne Karpf discusses this trend in her book, The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are.   It seems that the average pitch of women’s voices is no longer an octave higher than a man’s, but just 2/3 of an octave.  The problem with this trend is that it is hazardous to the voice.  Speaking too low can cause nodules, or calluses on the vocal folds, chronic laryngitis, and reduce the flexibility of the vocal mechanism.

So, I want to stop all this nonsense about a low voice being sexy and about power being demonstrated by a low voice and get to the heart of it.  A sexy voice is grounded, just like a sexy person is confident.  A sexy voice has vibrant resonance, just as a sexy person is vibrant.  And a sexy voice is flexible, reflecting a sensitive, emotional person.  If you have those three things, your sexy voice will be healthy and it will reflect your emotions and desires.

How to create a sexy voice

1. Make your breathing low and expansive.  Just like good sex, good breathing is low and deep (now you will never forget that about proper breathing!)
2. Create a resonance that is powerful by using mask resonance.  To do this, humming is a great tool, and music is the food of love, of course.  (Research shows that music stimulates the brain in the same place as food and sex, by the way, so you know why I always recommend humming!!)
3. Create variety in your sound by letting your voice show your emotions.  An emotional connection with your voice allows others to feel closer to you too…hint, hint

You are just about to make your point, bringing your dynamic and well-prepared speech to its exciting climax, when you open your mouth to speak and hear a horrible croak instead of your usual voice.  Frustrated, you clear your throat, and try again, but you sound like you are speaking underwater this time!  Again you clear your throat, loudly and aggressively.  Now, your voice is more clear, but you can still feel the crud rolling around in there, and sure enough, a few words later, there it is again.  Croak!  Someone from the audience rushes up with a glass of water. You guzzle it down in relief,  but you know the moment has passed.  The audience is now feeling a bit sorry for you…not what you had intended at all!

Well, it happens.  In other articles, we have talked about how to keep your voice healthy, how to deal with laryngitis and acid reflux, but there are minor issues that come up that cause problems that are NOT long-lasting.  Here are 3 things you can do , on the spot, to get rid of a frog in the throat, and also to deal with a couple of other vocal horrors: the “tickle,” and “the tremor.”

1. If your voice croaks like a frog:  Immediately, stop, lift up your hand to tell your audience “just a minute”, turn away from the mic, and create a little compression in your throat (like the beginning of clearing your throat, but without all the noise.) It’s a little graveley sound you want to create, and you can do this very quietly two or three times.  If it doesn’t clear up, stop, let the audience know you need a minute, and drink several large sips of water.  Wait another few seconds, use that little compression sound to clear your cords, and speak.  If you still get some croaking, drink some more water.  In fact, over the next few minutes drink the entire glass by sipping between ideas. Water thins out the mucous and creates a nice lubrication usually eliminating the globs that are causing the problem.
2. If your voice shakes : Sometimes your voice is unsteady because of nerves.  If you suspect this is the case for you, stop,  and take a breath.  Calm yourself down with low, expansive breathing.  Then speak again.  For some, starting each talk with a resounding, confident “Hello!” may be the cure for a shaky voice.  It gets the air moving, which is what you really need.  For more tips on handling nervousness, please read this post by Sandra Zimmer on Six Minutes.
3. If you get a tickle: Your first  response is probably to take a sip of water, which may work just fine.  But the tickle is in the larynx, usually, not the esophagus, so if the tickle doesn’t go away, a slight cough can help to clear the larynx of phlegm.  A tickle may also be caused by dry air on the vocal folds.  In this case, breathing in through the nose will help warm and moisten the air; take a low breath, letting the abdominal muscles expand and your throat relax.  Then be sure to actively use the air in the sound when you speak.

While there are potentially many aspects of a presentation that can take away from your presentation if not addressed (please read Joan Curtis’ Blog post on Communication Culprits), there is no doubt that a voice malfunction can make you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.  Don’t let it.  Learn these tricks for dealing with it physically because sooner or later, you will need this information.  But when it happens,  know that it’s just part of the deal.  Your voice is your greatest asset as a speaker or singer, but it is part of your body and it has its good days and its bad days, just like your hair.

What other vocal issues come up for you as a speaker? Write a comment about it and let’s see what we can do to solve it or give you a quick remedy.  And if you stump me, I’ll do the research and get back to you.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Update:  Great recent post on another problem for speakers: stuttering.  Please read  Eloquent Woman

Investing in Your Vocal Image: A Tale of Two Strategies

Recently, a female executive, we’ll call her Joann, came to me, complaining that too often at the end of a long day she left the office with a hoarse voice and a feeling of utter exhaustion. All she wanted to do was to go home, curl up with a good book and tune everyone nearby out.

Joann admitted that things at work were more stressful than usual. While she was intensely focused on trying to secure additional funding for her growing company, her voice giving out at the end of the day was a new and troublesome problem.

Strategy 1: Getting back in shape

We spent some time getting her voice back in shape by raising her pitch to a more natural level and developing some resonance so that she didn’t need to work so hard at being heard. She was surprised at how easy it was to lift the strain from her voice, even though it took a bit of time to become comfortable speaking in this new way, especially on the phone.

Now, let me say Joann is gregarious by nature. She loves to spin a good story and she always has plenty of color and detail to make any subject she talks about come to life. She is also clear, compelling and strong. She uses humor well and can really draw people into a conversation: All ingredients of a great public speaker. (For more information on presentations skills for executives , please read this recent post from Kathy Reiffenstein on  Professionally Speaking.) I suspected, however, that her vocal choices might be getting in the way of her efforts to raise money for her company.

Strategy 2:  Presenting a deal-maker voice

Taking a chance, I asked whether she was having success with her funding efforts, particularly with her presentations. Joann confessed that although she was not scaring potential investors off, she wasn’t closing any deals either. I asked her if she would make her presentation to me. Just as I presumed, her content was clear and compelling, but her vocal image, specifically the cadence of her voice, was not aligned with her message or intent.

One of the things that makes Joanne sound so friendly is a habitual upward pitch, or open cadence, at the end of her sentences that invites people into the conversation. The problem is she uses this cadence even when she is making a declaration. The upward cadence causes her to seem indecisive and, even worse, wishy-washy. Not exactly the impression you want to give a potential investor. *

She was game to try a different approach since she was determined to get support for her company.  We worked on her cadence and other aspects of her vocal image. Within a short time she began to see a difference. She landed the investments she needed, and she started to go home feeling fulfilled rather than exhausted.

Summary

Today, people see Joanne as both authoritative and open. She makes conscious vocal choices to close a deal or make a friend—two situations which require two different vocal strategies.

P.S. I feel great to have been able to help Joanne learn to manage her vocal image in support of her social life as well as her work. I love my job!

*The Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation posts a daily blog that will be of  great interest to executives, and includes information on communication styles and gender differences in the workplace and as individuals,  as well as conflict resolution.  Its authors are some of the foremost authorities on negotiating today.

According to the Daily World Buzz, the top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are listed below.  I am not sure where they get their list, but I can’t argue that these things are probably on many lists, and if you Google  New Year’s Resolutions, most of these come up year after year!

The Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 are:

Get into shape, Save money, Lose weight, Give up smoking, Assess work/life balance,  Learn a new skill, Be kinder to myself, Give up/ cut alcohol intake, Give up / eat less chocolate,  and Clean out closets.

All of these resolutions are about making changes for the better.  Now, wouldn’t it be great if you could make just one commitment, make one change, or take on one new activity in the new year that would satisfy of all of them?  Well, I humbly submit that you can.  Studying voice will do all this and more.  How?  Let’s take a look at the resolutions and see how.

1 Get into shape. Singing is a very physical activity.  Breathing for singing alone can be very demanding if done correctly.  Little known fact: It’s quite possible to get a “six-pack” from practicing proper breathing!  (My partner will validate mine   Plus, most teachers will require that you stand in front of a mirror during lessons or to practice, and there is nothing quite like mirror-time to convince you to get in shape!!

2 Save money. Well, I can’t help you here because you usually have to pay for lessons.  But I suppose your desire to improve yourself may be motivation to sock away the dollars needed for the lessons, and if you can save for one desire, perhaps you can save money for other things too.

3 Lose weight. The increased activity from learning to stand and breath properly will help you drop pounds and inches, especially if you also eat less (not most singer’s strong suit, but….), and since you have to fit lessons into your life, you will probably have less time to eat than you did before.  And then of course, you will have to stand up in front of your fans to show them your progress, so you will need to look good in your rock star outfit!

4 Give up smoking. Smoking makes your vocal folds dry and irritated, and compromises the process of singing or even speaking well.  Progress is very slow and can be frustrating.  You will probably have to quit smoking in order to study voice  or it may be a waste of your time and money.  Besides, no voice teacher worth her salt will work with someone who is a smoker.  It just doesn’t make sense.

5 Assess work/life balance. Although studying voice may add another activity to your already-busy life, the thought of taking it on can force you to assess your work/life balance.  And humming at work is a great way to keep things in perspective.

5 Learn a new skill. If you have never studied voice before, you will obviously be learning a new skill.  But if you  already sing or are a public speaker, you will still learn new skills.  In fact, when it comes to voices, even professionals need trained ears to hear them from time to time and advise them on their technique and improve their skill. In addition, learning to use your voice more effectively will help all of your communication.

7 Be kinder to myself. Singing is very enjoyable.  Often, when I tell people what I do, they tell me that they have always wanted to be able to sing.  Certainly, doing something that is fun and that you have always wanted to do is being kind to yourself, even if you think your singing in public is not kind to anyone else!  So what?!  Take the lessons for yourself.  By the way, less than 1% of the population is actually tone deaf.  Everyone else can sing to one degree or another.

8 Give up/ cut alcohol intake. With all of your practicing and lesson time, you will have less time to drink.  In fact you may want to drink less because you will be happier.  Research by Dr. Alfred Tomatis tells us that singing massages the brain and calms us down.  Very cool!  This being the case, there is much less need to drink if you already feel good.

9 Give up / eat less chocolate. OK.  This is one resolution to which I take exception.  Since we all know chocolate is good for you, let’s not be stupid!  In fact, I think you should take a piece of dark chocolate with you to each lesson and share it with your voice coach!

10 Clean out closets. The motivation to do this last one can easily be derived from learning to sing.  First of all, you need to have a place to practice where no one else will interfere.  Closets are good for that, so you will need to clean out your closet in order to find that space.  Secondly, because creative activity makes you feel more energized, you will find that after a lesson you are pumped up and it will be easy to take on your closet.

In short,  New Year’s resolutions require goal setting, dedication, and patience to see through.  If you wish to make changes and are looking for a way to make them stick, there is nothing like a new discipline to help you.  Studying voice requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to do things differently; in other words, it’s  just the kind of activity that can change your life for the better.

When I lose my voice, I try to remember this. “Your voice is not lost, it is just a little more quiet so that you can hear yourself think, hear the wisdom of God, and be inspired by others’ ideas. Use laryngitis wisely!”

To find your voice today,
1. Drink plenty of warm liquids… that soothe your soul.
2. Write notes instead of talking…particularly if they are consoling to the discouraged, and uplifting to all. If you have nothing positive to say, say nothing. Just listen.
3. Rest your voice.  Don’t fight it and try to speak anyway!!! If all goes as planned, you will need your voice  to be healthy and strong so you can express all the amazing things that are trickling up through the silence.

Eating late?  You may awaken with laryngitis.  Too much spaghetti?  Tomorrow you may pay with a hoarse voice.  The perils of eating the wrong food at the wrong time do not threaten the waistline alone.  Perhaps you have heard of reflux laryngitis, or acid reflux.  This is a condition caused by stomach acids crawling back up the esophagus instead of staying in your stomach where they belong…and it can be uncomfortable, fattening, and  also hazardous to the health of your voice.

Singers and actors who go out with the cast after a show often experience hoarseness due to acid reflux.  But so do many others who simply eat too much or who eat foods that create indigestion.  Such foods may be spicy,  fatty, or acidic.  You may experience gaseous feelings after eating cucumbers. For others it may be wheat products that make them burp.  In any event, acid reflux is no fun to begin with, but the fact that it is a vocal problem as well is additional food for thought…no pun intended…especially if you are a professional voice user, such as a teacher or lawyer or sales person.

Acid reflux symptoms are the following: heartburn, chronic throat clearing and or coughing, burning at the back of the throat after eating, and hoarseness/sore throat in the morning or after lying down.

Acid reflux can be controlled or eliminated by doing the following:

1. Avoid eating within two hours of your bedtime and avoid going to bed on a full stomach.
2. Avoid foods that make you feel “gassy” or cause you to burp, especially before going to sleep.  Healthy eating creates a healthy voice.
3. If you do need to go to sleep on a full stomach,  sleep sitting up for a couple of hours and then lie down.

If you do end up with laryngitis due to acid reflux, be sure to rest your voice and drink plenty of warm fluids.  This is a common voice problem that can be controlled with some awareness and altered behavior.  For more info on several  common voice problems and what causes them click here.

It’s Monday, time for Monday Night Football.  Fans will be screaming in the stands and in the living room.  Some will end the day without a voice.  Most people don’t give laryngitis much thought, treating it  much as they would a runny nose or a cut on the finger, thinking it will get better.  However, the voice is more fragile than one would think, and even one bad scream can cause permanent damage.  Screaming is considered to be vocal abuse, not just misuse.  In most people, the small muscles of the vocal folds cannot sustain much abuse and laryngitis is an indication that you went too far!!

So if you go too far with that screaming, be sure to get some vocal rest.  Be quiet, drink warm liquids instead of cold, and write notes to people instead of talking.  Give yourself a couple of days to recover.

Note on SCREAMING as SINGING:  My children used to try to convince me that “screamers” in rock music could scream without hurting their voices.  Basically, this is completely false.  There is no way to have a strong, flexible,  healthy voice if you scream all the time unless you are a vocal freak…and there are some of those around too.  On the other hand, if you like the raspy sound, scream a lot, smoke at least a pack a day, and if your voice gets tired, rock on.

A few years ago, I was sitting in a bar on the Champs Elysee, listening to a great jazz group and enjoying a glass of wine.  Because they were playing a lot of songs from the Great American Songbook, we struck up a conversation with the piano player.  He was a real piano player, with a great sense of style and the songs he played from the Great American Songbook were quite wonderful but he spoke mostly French.  That was a struggle, but it was fun and after awhile, he figured out I was a singer and asked if I’d like to sing something from the Great American Songbook.  That’s when I got nervous.

Now, really, that doesn’t make any sense.  I am a singer and have been singing all my life, but as a classical singer, I wasn’t really prepared to sing in a bar!  I didn’t even know the best songs for singing in a bar!  For years, the only experience I had with piano bar songs was when I sang opera in a piano bar, and I am sure those songs were not among the most popular piano bar songs!  So I have determined that the reason I got nervous was the same reason I get nervous in other situations:  A lack of preparation.

Since then, I have learned a lot of songs that are perfect for singing in a piano bar, and know the best songs for singing in a bar, and even the best karaoke songs.  And because it’s summer and there’s more music in bars than the rest of the year, except the holidays, I thought I’d share my tips with you.

So here’s how to sing in a bar with a real piano player, how to find the best songs for singing in a bar, what are the most popular piano bar songs, and the difference between karaoke songs and piano bar songs and the Great American Songbook.

1.  Be prepared with your voice.  Practice singing every day.

2.  Be prepared with your songs.  First place to start is by picking songs you like to sing and practicing them. Next, you can find discussions on line about what songs are best to sing in a bar, and even what songs are best to sing when you are intoxicated…always good to be prepared with that one!!  Most people agree that the best songs to sing in a piano bar are standards.  however, not everyone agrees on what a standard is!!!

3.  Be prepared with a standard.  For a more indepth look at what a standard is, try the Great American Songbook.  That is really every song written in America, but tradition dictates that it points to songs written between 1920 and 1960, more than anything else.  Other standards are whatever people are singing in the bars you visit and almost any famous song!!

4.  Be prepared to tell the real piano player the name of your song and the key in which you sing it.  Singing live in a piano bar is not the same as singing Karaoke songs!

5.  Be prepared to sing Karaoke songs.  Listen to a top forty station on the radio or to an oldies station.  Find the songs that you like and learn them just like the artist on the radio.  Then join the crowd at a Karaoke bar and have fun!!  Singing Karaoke songs gives you practice with your voice and in front of others who are drinking, which is important!!

In general, singing in a bar is all about sharing your gift with others.  People who study singing or sing professionally are often nervous about singing in front of others when they are not prepared because what they sound like matters more to them than it does to others.  Chances are, if you have an interest in singing, you have a gift to share.  Enjoy it!