Kate'sVoice

Please welcome guest author Kathy Reiffenstein. Kathy is the author of Professionally Speaking, a blog on creating persuasive, confident speakers.  In this post, she addresses the issue of “voice” as a speaker’s style.

In presentation skills training classes, you’re usually given one of these two pieces of advice:

“Be yourself! Be authentic!”

OR

“Do it this way because this is the right [interpretation: only] way to deliver a presentation.”

They seem contradictory, don’t they? In fact, I think the best approach is a blend of both.

AUTHENTICITY

Audiences will spot insincerity or inauthenticity a mile away so it is certainly important to be yourself. But what do we mean by that?

• Be sure you know what your natural style looks like. If you’re not sure (or even if you think you are), videotape yourself speaking and then view that tape (perhaps with a speaking coach) multiple times. This will give you a sense of how you come across, how you sound and provide some insight into your strengths. This is the visual part of your authentic “voice.”

• Let your personality show through. This is also part of your “voice.” Your audience wants to connect with a human being, not just some robot who knows all the correct speaking techniques. So if you’re naturally humorous, let the audience see and hear that. If you’re typically enthusiastic, let the audience feel that. If you’re very organized, let the audience see that in the flow and structure of your presentation.  Similarly, in a recent interview, the great South African jazz pianist, Abdullah Ibrahim said that it is each musician’s unique style that makes their music special.   ” Because of the specific character of that person, he or she has found their own voice, and that is what makes their music so vibrant.”

• Speak in a “human” voice. Too frequently we think that to be professional, we need to exclude any emotion from our speaking. But that’s not very human. It’s OK, and in fact authentic, to show the audience when you’re passionate about an aspect of your topic or upset about a particular inequity.  A recent post on Six Minutes describes this as Pathos, a critical component of great speaking.

• Deliver your presentation from notes rather than from a prepared script.  Though you may have a writing “voice”, your conversational voice will be different and reading from a script will tend to make you sound wooden instead of authentic. Notes will allow you to speak more naturally and be more spontaneous.

PRESENTATION BEST PRACTICES

Being yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t improve your skills. There are certain techniques that are universally appealing to audiences. Take, for example, the “ums” and “ahs” that some people use in their daily speech. While this behavior may indeed be natural for a certain speaker, every audience on earth will appreciate a technique that eliminates these useless filler words.  Just beware of getting carried away with perfecting your technique at the expense of your authentic style.  As Speech Coach Lisa Braithwaite says in her blog, “Audiences don’t care about perfection. They don’t expect it. They want to relate to you, laugh, cry, be surprised, get goosebumps and feel something when you speak.”

Since, as a presenter, your major responsibility is to communicate your message effectively to your audience, you need to know how to be effective. Make yourself aware of the various effective presentation techniques. Adopt the ones that enhance your existing “voice” or style and be prepared to utilize others when appropriate for a particular audience.

As an example, let’s say your style is typically relaxed, even folksy, and that works fine with most of your audiences. But on the occasion of presenting to a group of foreign diplomats, a more formal style may be more comfortable for this audience.

Bottom line:

• Be yourself.
• Be aware of the impact that your “voice” has on others.
• Have the appropriate repertoire of presentation skills to draw from for the benefit of your audience.

Blend your personal style with good presentation techniques and you’ll be authentic to both yourself and your audience. And you will present a “voice” that is both unique and appropriate to the task at hand.

Kathy Reiffenstein is the founder and president of And…Now Presenting!, a Washington, D.C. business communications consulting and training firm, where she draws on her background in sales, marketing and customer service to create confident, persuasive speakers. She works with business executives, authors, non-profit leaders and the military to help them speak clearly, effectively and engagingly to their audiences. Visit www.andnowpresenting.us and Kathy’s blog for presentation tips, resources and insights.

I am often surprised by the lack of research in the area of voice as a barometer for the psyche, but we all know it is.  I got a voice mail from my daughter the other day.  All she said was, “Hi, Mom.  Call me,” but I knew something was wrong.  Fortunately, it was not a big problem, but how did I know there was a problem at all?  It wasn’t what she said; it was how she said it.  Politicians can deliver eloquent, powerful phrases in response to accusations, and we think we know they are lying, no matter what they actually say.

A study done in Geneva has shown that emotions can be “heard” in the voice.  An emotion is what happens when many interconnected processes of interpretation, bodily reaction and expression happen in response to a situation, either external or internal.  Emotion is physical.  Therefore, since the voice IS also physical, it is no wonder that we can “hear” emotions in the voice.  It happens through changes in the muscles, the breath and the brain which in turn affect the pitch, cadence, and inflection of the voice.  Coupled with the ability for the voice to show emotion is the ability for the ear to pick up minute differences in the sound the voice produces.  The ear can perceive 1400 different pitches and 280 different levels of volume for each pitch it can hear! So if you feel an emotion, you can be assured that no matter how hard you try to disguise it, someone will pick it up!

But what about intention?  Can we pick up intentions in a person’s voice or because of their relation to emotions, or is there something else going on?  Intention is what one has in mind to do or bring about, and I mean literally “in mind,” as was shown by two studies of intention.  In the first, it was revealed by New York researchers that infants as young as six months old can understand our intentions, and respond to them.  Another study used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to show that the mirror neuron system tracks not only the actions, but also the intentions, of others.  This mirror neuron system has been identified as being very important in guiding our social interactions, especially in survival and keeping us safe. Therefore, intention is a component of “trustworthiness” in social interaction and it is definitely picked up by others, which is why you need to be clear about your intention as a speaker.

Aligning your intention with others’

Public speaking often feels like a solo act.  Conversation can feel that way too!  In personal expression, you will almost always communicate the representation of your personal perspective.  You seek to persuade others, to inform others, or to entertain others.  However, if you truly need or want to communicate something, you need to consider the perspective of others. You can think of intention in public speaking as something akin to good marketing:  you need to know who you are, what you do and why anyone should care.  In an article called “The Power of the Ask,” Market Like a Chick blogger,  Coree Silvera, says “You build your solutions based on their needs and demonstrate how your unique product or service can help them achieve their goals.”  Likewise, when speaking with others, you do the same.  You are not looking for their intention to be the same as yours, but you must understand how their intention for being there intersects with or conflicts with yours.

Let’s look at some obvious examples.

• A political comedian may be hysterically funny to the Democrats and offensive to the Republicans, or vice versa.
• No matter how persuasive, a pharmaceutical rep may have a hard time convincing a convention of naturopaths that his product is viable.
• The most eloquent teacher in the world will not necessarily persuade a group of restless teenagers to sit and listen to him for hours.
• If you know that you have a solution to sell and they need your solution, that doesn’t mean that their intention is to buy from you.

Speech coach, Lisa Braithwaite has a recent article on her blog, Speak Schmeak, which addresses intentions in a broader picture.  She stresses that your words have to align with your actions, and in her examples, the actions have intentionalitiy behind them.  Though not in these words, she asks you to consider this:  what is the intention behind your actions?

It is safe to say that there are those who have persuaded others to listen when it was against the odds.  One fine example is that of a ten-year-old boy, Dalton Sherman, who has captured the hearts of over 500,000 viewers on YouTube.  Dalton is a passionate speaker who makes us believe in him because he obviously believes in himself.  Dalton’s voice is strong.  His words are strong, and he intends that we move together to make a strong difference in education.

Discovering Intention

How can you be more like Dalton?  How can you better align your intention with your voice and your content?  The first step is often to get very honest with yourself and to take inventory of what’s going on in your mind and the minds of your listeners.  Make it a part of what you do in preparation for a talk or a conversation.  And consider that circumstances may interfere with your intention.  A sound system fails, a heckler interrupts your talk, an unexpected emotional response affects you deeply, and changes your mind.  Still, an awareness of intention in yourself and others is key to more clear communication.  Here are some ways to discover yours and use it well.

• Ask yourself why you are there?  Are you there to convince the audience to do something?  Are you there to entertain?  Are you speaking to educate? Are you giving something away in order to get them to buy something else? Are you speaking on behalf of a cause? Are you using this as an opportunity to do something you weren’t actually asked to do? Did you agree to have lunch with someone because you would then be able to corner them with a topic they are not expecting? Are you apologizing? Are you wanting them to hear a grievance? There are many possibilities.  Write them down and be aware of them as you craft your speech or conversation.
• It may be more difficult to clarify intention when you are asked to speak on the spur of the moment.  In that situation, take a moment to consider the audience and who and why they are there.  Your intention is the intersection of why YOU are there, what you have been asked to do, and why the audience should care.
• Create a personal statement of intention for each project or product you need to represent.  Let that statement shape your intention in your communication with others.
• Research the purpose of the organizations and businesses for whom you speak.  Find ways in which their purpose and your intention intersect and use that as a filter in your communication with them.
• You have a unique perspective and personality to bring to whatever you do.  You have a voice that is unlike any other, both a physical one and a “voice” as an authentic presence in the world.  Your intention is always to bring that voice to the table so you can be heard.  And even though Dalton impresses us because he isn’t like most ten-year-olds, just like Dalton, you can bring your unique self to us and do so with confidence and clarity if you honestly believe in who you are what you have to say.

My intention in offering a few free voice training sessions is to help spread the love (L.O.V.E.) this week.  As Anne Karpf says, “The sound of the human voice has an unrivaled capacity to flood the listener psychologically.”  This is from The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are (My second favorite book on vocal image…mine being the first, of course Can You Hear Me Now?)  However, I have observed that many people do not know exactly what they are flooding their listeners with, and that can be especially sticky when you are dealing with a lover or spouse.  Therefore, I am offering a free 30-minute session for the first 8 people who contact me this week.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A 30-minute session on the phone with me.  I will listen to your voice, and evaluate how you use it, based on vocal image, vocal health, and considering any specific vocal issues you may be experiencing.  I’ll also make recommendations for ways to improve or expand your voice.  This is a $100 value.

Although I’m offering this as a Valentine special, the offer is also open to those who  want help with their voices for public speaking, teaching, training, work or singing, or if you just want to create a better voice.  So if you have been looking to get some voice help and haven’t known where to start or if you have been thinking about contacting me, this is your chance.

Here’s what you need to do to take advantage of this offer.  Fill out the contact form here, or call me at 714-777-9231.  I will  set up sessions with the first 8 people who respond to this post.  Please do not leave a comment here (I can’t believe I’m saying that!!!!) unless you have difficulty reaching me the other two ways.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together!  Everyone deserves to create the voice they want, and it will be a lot of fun to see what we can do with this!

The other day, I was speaking with  a woman who has chronic laryngitis.  Her voice is very low and husky, and she gets lots of comments on “that sexy voice.”  To me, it sounds tired and unhealthy, but I know people who want that sound because they DO think it’s sexy.  So the questions I want to answer today are

• What is a sexy voice, and
• How do you create it? (and is there time before Valentine’s Day???)

What makes a voice sound sexy?

A now-famous study by Gordon Gallup and others at the University of Albany showed that both men and women with attractive voices also had more attractive bodies, and a larger sex life.  The researchers were able to show that women felt that low voices were more attractive in men, but they were unable to conclude what makes a woman’s voice sound more attractive to men.  In a later study, however, Dr. Gallup found that women’s voices are most attractive to both men and other women when they are at the peak of fertility, which in fact, causes their pitch to rise rather than drop. This is caused by the presence of more estrogen, just as a lower voice in men is associated with a higher level of testosterone.  This makes sense.  First and foremost, even in this modern world, we are attracted to people for procreation, and the voice seems to be an indicator of the right chemistry!

Perhaps the reason we think a low voice sounds sexy is because we are intuitively aware that a low voice means power.  This is true in the most primal way, of course, but again, we cannot deny our primal roots!  As women have sought to compete more and more with men in the workplace, they have lowered their voices.  Anne Karpf discusses this trend in her book, The Human Voice: How This Extraordinary Instrument Reveals Essential Clues About Who We Are.   It seems that the average pitch of women’s voices is no longer an octave higher than a man’s, but just 2/3 of an octave.  The problem with this trend is that it is hazardous to the voice.  Speaking too low can cause nodules, or calluses on the vocal folds, chronic laryngitis, and reduce the flexibility of the vocal mechanism.

So, I want to stop all this nonsense about a low voice being sexy and about power being demonstrated by a low voice and get to the heart of it.  A sexy voice is grounded, just like a sexy person is confident.  A sexy voice has vibrant resonance, just as a sexy person is vibrant.  And a sexy voice is flexible, reflecting a sensitive, emotional person.  If you have those three things, your sexy voice will be healthy and it will reflect your emotions and desires.

How to create a sexy voice

1. Make your breathing low and expansive.  Just like good sex, good breathing is low and deep (now you will never forget that about proper breathing!)
2. Create a resonance that is powerful by using mask resonance.  To do this, humming is a great tool, and music is the food of love, of course.  (Research shows that music stimulates the brain in the same place as food and sex, by the way, so you know why I always recommend humming!!)
3. Create variety in your sound by letting your voice show your emotions.  An emotional connection with your voice allows others to feel closer to you too…hint, hint

Investing in Your Vocal Image: A Tale of Two Strategies

Recently, a female executive, we’ll call her Joann, came to me, complaining that too often at the end of a long day she left the office with a hoarse voice and a feeling of utter exhaustion. All she wanted to do was to go home, curl up with a good book and tune everyone nearby out.

Joann admitted that things at work were more stressful than usual. While she was intensely focused on trying to secure additional funding for her growing company, her voice giving out at the end of the day was a new and troublesome problem.

Strategy 1: Getting back in shape

We spent some time getting her voice back in shape by raising her pitch to a more natural level and developing some resonance so that she didn’t need to work so hard at being heard. She was surprised at how easy it was to lift the strain from her voice, even though it took a bit of time to become comfortable speaking in this new way, especially on the phone.

Now, let me say Joann is gregarious by nature. She loves to spin a good story and she always has plenty of color and detail to make any subject she talks about come to life. She is also clear, compelling and strong. She uses humor well and can really draw people into a conversation: All ingredients of a great public speaker. (For more information on presentations skills for executives , please read this recent post from Kathy Reiffenstein on  Professionally Speaking.) I suspected, however, that her vocal choices might be getting in the way of her efforts to raise money for her company.

Strategy 2:  Presenting a deal-maker voice

Taking a chance, I asked whether she was having success with her funding efforts, particularly with her presentations. Joann confessed that although she was not scaring potential investors off, she wasn’t closing any deals either. I asked her if she would make her presentation to me. Just as I presumed, her content was clear and compelling, but her vocal image, specifically the cadence of her voice, was not aligned with her message or intent.

One of the things that makes Joanne sound so friendly is a habitual upward pitch, or open cadence, at the end of her sentences that invites people into the conversation. The problem is she uses this cadence even when she is making a declaration. The upward cadence causes her to seem indecisive and, even worse, wishy-washy. Not exactly the impression you want to give a potential investor. *

She was game to try a different approach since she was determined to get support for her company.  We worked on her cadence and other aspects of her vocal image. Within a short time she began to see a difference. She landed the investments she needed, and she started to go home feeling fulfilled rather than exhausted.

Summary

Today, people see Joanne as both authoritative and open. She makes conscious vocal choices to close a deal or make a friend—two situations which require two different vocal strategies.

P.S. I feel great to have been able to help Joanne learn to manage her vocal image in support of her social life as well as her work. I love my job!

*The Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation posts a daily blog that will be of  great interest to executives, and includes information on communication styles and gender differences in the workplace and as individuals,  as well as conflict resolution.  Its authors are some of the foremost authorities on negotiating today.

You can tell she is lying by the sound of her voice!!! lol

There it was.  A sound in his voice that indicated to the experts on Cal Lightman’s team that the suspect was lying.  It was a change in his sound at the end of the sentence.  Dr. Gillian Foster could tell easily that the man was smiling, even though she couldn’t see him.  She described his voice thinning out and getting a little higher.  In this case, this led her to conclude that the man was lying.

Now, let me ask you this.  Did YOU hear the change in his voice?  I did.  In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.  We can “hear” facial expressions and attitudes reflected in a person’s voice.  That’s because of physiological changes in the way we make sounds based on how we feel.

However, we can also “hear” a person’s intentions.  The voice is incredibly revealing.  This is why it’s so important to prepare for a speech or a presentation, to identify your intentions or purpose and keep them in mind.  Actors and performers are well aware of this.  Method acting was born of this phenomena.  But even dancers know about it.  In an article in Dance Magazine, I read this:

“I dance better when I have a reason to do the steps,” says Kimberly Cowen of Kansas City Ballet.

Good communication requires clarity;  clarity requires clear intention.  Too often we go into a presentation or a discussion without a clear intention for our communication.  We are then surprised that our message comes across confusing and ineffective.  A recent series on one person’s blog discusses the effect of intention and tone of voice in parenting.  In fact,  this topic is so important to Amblin that she is dedicated to discussing it through January of 2010!

Unclear intentions result in unclear communication. Conversely,  you don’t have to be a Cal Lightman to hear where a speaker is coming from.  It’s written all over their voice!

P.S. You can replay that episode of Lie to Me on the Fox website and check it out for yourself.  By the way, I think the web site is pretty cool.  Play the video that shows you tips and techniques for uncovering lies.  Not only is it fun, but I think it’s very helpful for speakers and performers.

As I’ve said before, your voice is a powerful tool. Using it with awareness and skill is essential to your credibility and persuasiveness as a speaker. The sound of your voice—your “vocal image”—can imply such things as friendliness or hostility, tolerance or prejudice, and weakness or strength. Many people fail in their communication simply because their vocal image does not align with their message.

Practical Application:  If you want to discover the nature of your vocal image, make a recording of yourself. Record yourself talking naturally in a normal conversation. If possible, also record yourself giving a short presentation.  Listen to the recording and consider the following three components of your vocal image.

Pitch:

Pitch is not determined by your volume, but rather by the notes you use when you speak.  Yes, we use notes when speaking just as we do when singing.  If you use a lot of variety in the pitch of your voice, people are likely to perceive you as friendly.  A variety of pitch also suggests flexibility and openness to others’ ideas. A voice with less pitch variance comes across as more demanding and authoritative.  Listen to your recording and determine if you have a varied pitch. Does it align with your intended message? Experiment with increasing and decreasing your pitch until it aligns with your message.

By the way, don’t take my word for it!  As a speaker, you can really benefit by reading Six Minutes, and the post on Vocal Variety, where Pitch is a big component of success for Toastmasters!!

Speed or Pace:

Listen to your recording and think about the speed of your delivery. If you speak quickly, you may be seen as assertive.  If you speak too quickly, you may seem nervous.  On the other hand, a slow delivery can be perceived as boring.  If you find that you speak too fast, force yourself to slow down and breathe more often.  If you speak too slowly, try to walk with purpose and energy while practicing your speech. A technique that many experienced speakers use is to accent their normal speed with slow speech. In doing this, the words which are spoken slowly are emphasized.  Consider how your speed of delivery aligns with the message you want to deliver.

Cadence:

Cadence is the way that you end your sentences.  Generally, a “feminine cadence” goes up in pitch at the end of a sentence. When pitch goes down at the end of a sentence, it’s a “masculine cadence.”  A feminine cadence invites a response and seems open to others’ ideas.  A masculine cadence makes a demand or a point and may sound less open to others’ ideas.  Effective speakers use both appropriately.  If people often interrupt you, you may want to add a more masculine cadence to your speech.  Similarly, if others seldom contribute to your discussions, you may be overusing the masculine cadence. Try introducing a female cadence when you would like input from others.

By the way, I really enjoy reading “The Eloquent Woman,” a blog for women on public speaking.  The author, Denise Graveline, often discusses gender differences in communication from a speaker’s perspective.  Check it out!

Record and study the natural qualities of your vocal image. Consider your pitch, speed, and cadence. Don’t forget to ask others to give you feedback so you can learn how your voice affects them. Once you become aware of your vocal image, you can begin to better align it with your message and become a more credible and persuasive speaker.

There are at least ten characteristics of your voice that create your vocal image.  They are pitch, tone, volume, emotion, clarity, pace, rhythm, cadence, and choice of words.  You can find more on clarity, pace, volume and cadence in some of my previous posts.  When you are writing in your voice journal, it’s great to keep a list of these attributes in front of you.  Write them down now, or refer to the “Vocal Image Awareness Exercises” on pages 71-103 in my book.

Here’s how to keep and use an effective voice journal:

Write your observations two or three times during the day.  It is sometimes best to plan to write in your journal at the same time everyday.  For example, write in it when you first arrive at your desk so you can capture your thoughts on how you used your voice at home and on the way to work.  (Singing in the shower and the car, I hope!)  Write in it again after lunch, so you can think back on how you used your voice while having lunch with others.  And finally, write in it before going home so you can observe the state of your voice over a period of a day.

If you have been working with my book, you have created a list of changes that you would like to see in your voice.  You’ve done this by

• creating a recording of your voice,
• evaluating what you hear based on the vocal image you perceive,
• and comparing that with the way you would like to sound, or the vocal image you would like to present.

1.  For those of you who HAVE NOT been working with my book, you can find it here. while you are waiting for your book, create a recording of yourself speaking and listen to it .  Write down what you observe about it. (pros, cons, what do you sound like, what would you like to sound like,etc.)  Do that today, and come back tomorrow.

2.  For those of you who HAVE been working with my book, please take out your recording, listen to it again and create your list of what you observe about your voice, or review the one you’ve already created.

EVERYONE, you can use the journal portion of the book, or you can use a separate journal or notebook, but you will need something to write in every day.  Start carrying it around with you or put it in a prominent place on your desk while you work.  Get ready to write a little everyday but you only need to plan to spend a few minutes each day.

Come back tomorrow for more.  If your intention is to improve your voice and your presentation skills, we can do it together and get the year off to a great start!

I love the title of the book by Dr. Morton Cooper called, “Change Your Voice, Change Your Life.” I also think it’s a great book for people who want to understand their voice better.   The concept inspired me to expand my understanding of the voice beyond singing and eventually to write my book, “Can You Hear Me Now?” My book is designed to take you through the transformation of a healthier, more effective voice, as well as a better understanding of the image you present to others.  This month, we are going to go through the process of vocal transformation together, daily. So grab your copy, or buy one here, and join in.  It’s pretty simple and requires just a few minutes every  day, though we will take the weekends off .  I’ll meet you here on Monday, January 5 to begin.

Till then, Happy New Year and may 2009 be the best ever!